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Not suicidal just want to die

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#1
If i keep this up i'll be suicidal and homicidal in no time. But i know. Suicide is selfish, i get it. Maybe i'm not meant for life though. Maybe i suck at life. Please let me die. Please let my family forget i exist even celebrate that i'm gone.

I dont want to kill myself but if it comes down to it i will.
 
#3
I've been in a similar mind frame since I was ten, I'm nearly forty now, but recently it's turned to outright suicide. I called myself passively suicidal. im now active. Ideally I'd just get hit by something or just drop dead. my fanatasy is to just walk into the wilderness and let nature have me. But I'm desperate now to just be done so I've got my plan together and am just working out the timing.

be careful, if you want to die you're not as far off from suicide as you might think. if you can muster any strength to get help and put in the work, you have to do it now.
 
#4
Lol i know what you mean. I'm a cutter though so they'd say i did it on purpose and void the insurance regardless i think.

Maybe, idk. Hence why i'm homicidal i suppose.
 
#6
i agree. im not necessarily suicidal but im done being excited about life thats for sure.
i used to pray for a terminal illness. maybe thats how its supposed to be....let it happen?
 

daelyn

Well-Known Member
#7
i feel exactly the same way............im not exactly suicidal but i do want to die............im tired of people always treating me like shit an expecting me to put up w/ it............ :(
 

pit

Well-Known Member
#8
Walking into the wilderness. I like that idea. But with my luck, I'd probably survive. Hell, maybe I'll dive face-first into an Africanized bee hive. Or rub my tushy on a fire ant nest. Nah. Ideally I'll be smacked around and eaten by a giant grizzly bear.
 

solutions

Well-Known Member
#12
Truth be told, there are a select few methods that consistently work, and when I go out I'm going to make sure I use one. No more of this parasuicide crap, where I know I'm going to be rescued at some point before I die. It's become abundantly clear that I am not compatible with life, so as soon as my clock runs out (and I am in fact on a clock right now), I'll do what I should have done when I was an impulsive teenager. I can't afford to keep failing, it's not worth it, and things have just gotten progressively worse since I first attempted at 17. That was seven years ago.

As for committing murder-suicide, it's an attractive idea, but the girl I was close to who said she was going to kill herself and who I wanted to enter a suicide pact with a few years ago but could never find the proper moment to suggest it moved without my knowing because her parents divorced, and I have no idea where she is now. Seems like I'll be sticking to simple suicide.
 

doityourself

Well-Known Member
#13
Truth be told, there are a select few methods that consistently work, and when I go out I'm going to make sure I use one. No more of this parasuicide crap, where I know I'm going to be rescued at some point before I die. It's become abundantly clear that I am not compatible with life, so as soon as my clock runs out (and I am in fact on a clock right now), I'll do what I should have done when I was an impulsive teenager. I can't afford to keep failing, it's not worth it, and things have just gotten progressively worse since I first attempted at 17. That was seven years ago.

As for committing murder-suicide, it's an attractive idea, but the girl I was close to who said she was going to kill herself and who I wanted to enter a suicide pact with a few years ago but could never find the proper moment to suggest it moved without my knowing because her parents divorced, and I have no idea where she is now. Seems like I'll be sticking to simple suicide.

RocketPop, the only way your time is going to run out is if you decide its time. I agree the failing part is hard on you mentally and physically but that just means that you need to stop attempting. Easier said than done huh.

I wonder and have been researching mind brainwashing, see I see depression as a brainwashing disease, but what if we turned our thoughts around the other way, not just to tell ourselves that we like our lives and are satisified with it, but to dig deep down for the energy to change our lives to actually make it what we want.

Your probably saying you dont have any energy left, but look at what youve done and been through, your stronger than you think. The day to day is the biggest problem about being depressed, the constant thoughts and whirlwind of emotions. But what if we could tame them or even learn to control them. I think we need to give ourselves the oppurtunity to live, even if we are unhappy with life, what tomorrow brings is always a mistery.

I hate this disease, the mind altering affects it has on us, you have the right to live, you deserve a "happy" life, put all this negative energy into something positive. Do something youve never tried, learn something new, get your heart rate up and beating, get the blood flowing.

Your not alone in this world, theres alot that feel the same way you do, me included. Dont give up on yourself! Hugs
 
#14
i feel the same as all of the above. i want to die but dont have the guts to do it myself. i fantasize abt planes crashing and brain tumors and kitchen fires all the time. i actually pray for the strength to kill myself rather than for the strength to live. its messed up.
 
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