I can't currently focus enough to read through the tips. Half the time, I can't focus on anything anymore. I'm currently in crisis. I've spent the past two months trying to get an appointment with my psychologist. In March, I couldn't make it due to lack of transportation. This month, he retired. So, the appointment was cancelled. I have severe phone anxiety. They told my mom (I use her number for emergency contact) that I would have to call to be set up with a new therapist. But it was hard enough working up the courage to be open with the last one. Which I was planning on doing because I realize how bad off I am at the moment. Starting fresh? I don't know. I feel like I might make another attempt if I don't find help soon, but I'm not sure how to find help. My mind keeps racing with thoughts of ending it all. The only thing that can shut it up anymore is alcohol or pills. I don't know what to do anymore. I need someone to talk to, but in the past year, I've pushed most of my friends away. I have tried Samaritans before. I don't know. I found it to be the exact opposite of helpful. And with phone anxiety, hotlines are out of the question. I guess that's why I'm posting here. If someone - anyone - wouldn't mind talking.. I don't know. I just don't know anymore. The woman told my mom I could go in if I'm in a crisis. But I have no transportation until tomorrow. So, I figured I'd try reaching out somewhere in the meantime.