Hello everyone, I am from BC, Canada and I am not sure how to survive my day-to-day life. Yes, I am feeling suicidal these days especially after a major argument with my dad. I don't know, I hate the fact that he always loves to take it out on me due to his stress at work I think it's not fair that way. I even told about this issue and he just brushed it off as me being stupid. I am in debt and I recently quit my part-time job. I graduated from highschool last year and now I am still here, doing nothing instead of going to college. I don't see the point of my life since I will fail in anything I do and having no accomplishment what-so-ever. My parents love to remind me how of a stupid and loser kid I am. Of course they are very disappointed in me for not straight to university. I have lots of fear of going into a new environment, really really afraid of meeting my highschool enemies in college and I am jealous of them, having so many material things that I longed for. I don't want to take the bus because I had terrible experience while taking the bus and it's hard to forget about it. I wish I have my own car to get to school and the fun of having one. Now that my parents view me as a parasite in the household (actually my dad told me that), I feel very miserable. I am stuck in this endless and vicious cycle. I am also not in good health, I constantly feel tired and my sleeping pattern is messed up beyond redemption. I have some rashes that won't go away on my back and a little on my chest and I am too afraid to check it out. I hate my life and I am really stuck in it. Sometimes I wish I could free my soul by passing out in water and thus drowning myself.