Not sure how to go push myself to go on.

[brokenhands]

Hi, My Name is Johnny, I've been having just the worst holiday break ever.
I'm currently a senior in highschool and i've been having suicidal feelings and depression problems since maybe.. i think 8th grade.
Lately things were going good for me,

Then suddenly my mom tells me that i'm moving far away...
And that i have to leave my band... and that me and my girlfriend whom is the world to me may be at our end...

I'm pretty much losing everything... but i'm holding it all in for the sake of my mother, She is happy that we get a new start...
and this may be her last chance at having a house before retirement..
But my anxiety is killing me and i don't know how to be strong anymore... i have spent the past week or so constantly feeling sick to my stomach like
all i want to do is die... and it scares me...
I love all the people in my life and i'm going to lose them all... atleast for a year
I just don't think i can go on without these people who constantly are there for me.. all my family does is worsen my problems
without even knowing that they're doing it... i don't find comfort in them and i never try to.
I just need help but i'm too afraid to ask for it...

 

[total eclipse]

Hi hun i think talking to your mother your family just telling them how you are feeling will help hun. Maybe your gf can come up for a vist sometime. You can always get a video cam and talk over computer hun stay in contact that way. Before moving get your mother to see if there is a band in the new community hun that you can join make new friends
It is good hun to talk to people ok not keep everything inside h un hugs