I have been feeling really down the past few weeks and have thought of suicide. I am able to fight through the temptation by focusing on my family. I have tried to figure out why I feel the way I do but nothing seems to be a trigger. The Holidays were easy compared to the feeling down. I feel like I am getting closer to attempting suicide again but I do not want to. I am afraid that I will lose control and do what I really do not want to. My therapist I will see on 01/10/07 hopefully I can make it that long. I do not want to disapoint my family by killing myself or by going to the hospital again. I know in my heart the hospital will be the better choice but I can not leave my kids at this time. sorry this goes all over the place, just needed to put things down before I expload. I will take each day one at a time and pray that I have the strenght to fight this. I think I am Bipolar because this has happened in cycles since April this past year and thinking back has happened a bunch of times growing up.