Recently, my mum passed away (through a long complication with illnesses) and as expected, the funeral and the following months afterward have been very difficult for me, but it seems that as each day goes on, the more I cannot seem to stop thinking that I have had enough of this life and just want to end it. It is becoming so bad that practically all of my thoughts of each second of the day are pervaded by suicidal thoughts and I know for a fact that if it keeps up, then within a week, I know I will that I try something. I normally only post in my diary about my thoughts, but given how bad things are for me right now, I was kind of hoping someone from here would at least speak to me, but I guess that is too much to ask for. :-( Looks like I will go back to planning. Thanks for the opportunity to rant. Moat.