not sure if i'll ever beat depression

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by ToddMAdl, Jan 4, 2011.

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  1. ToddMAdl

    ToddMAdl Well-Known Member

    I have always been moody growing up but when I was around 14 was when I started to feel really down. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 15 by my psychologist who I saw until over a year ago. I have improved but I still feel down because I fear being unhappy and I fear that I will be alone,unhappy and ultimately unsatisfied. I lack energy and don't enjoy doing things like I used to. I find myself not doing things and not enjoying myself when I do things. I have been taking lexapro since I was 15 but I'm not sure if it is working. The therapist I am seeing now believes that may be the problem as well. She has arranged me to see a nurse practitioner to monitor my dosage level and determine whether I should stay on lexapro or be on something else. I fear that it won't matter and that I won't be able to get over this. I am tired of feeling this way and I just want to put this behind me. Anyone have any ideas about how to get through this or what they did?
  2. cathyr

    cathyr Member & Antiquities Friend

    Can I ask how old you are? I started feeling depressed at the same time also, age 14 and went on my first antidepressant then. Since then I have been on and off of many of them for the past 20 years. Sometimes you need to try many different AD's to find the right one for you. I know it's discouraging. You don't mention if you seeing a therapist but that may help too.

    As far as beating depression since I have a chronic case of it I just try to manage it as best as I can. In my case, I am never going to be *cured* but I can look for better ways to live with it. I do have periods when I am stable and I just try to tell myself that I will feel that way again. not easy to do I know.
  3. Screaminginsilence

    Screaminginsilence Well-Known Member

    I don't think you ever beat it hun, the older you get the more you learn about yourself and the better you can monitor and help yourself

    I understand if your feeling totally lost at the moment its so hard to find that first step on the ladder to get out of the never-ending-hole-that-is-depression, but you've come on here - right?

    Like you i was a grumpy teen then it gradually became apparent that it wasn't just adolescent mood swings and i generally needed help. Its just your make up and part of who you are

    In terms of feeling like crap and not wanting to do anything i get the same. My best advice is to pick a few things you really like doing (for me its having my nails done, going shopping, watching a good film with a bag of malteasers! calling my best friend, or boyfriend, making somthing etc) and try and do it when u feel poo

    Even if you don't enjoy it, it will take your mind off things for a while and that in itself is a big help

    If you really are stuck, clean your room/bathroom/flat/house - its rubbish yes however good for the soul to live in a clean and tidy enviroment!

    As for meds i went from citalopram, to mirtazepine and i'm now on Fluxetine, 20mg start then 40mg and i've finally settled into 60mg doses. So really this is my 5th perscription over ... 4 years?! and its finally working

    Its a pain in the ass going back and forth but deffo look into the meds, just because one may not be working that doesnt mean another wont work wonders for you

    Also don't forget that you aren't alone, there are hundreds (thousands i think?) of users on this forum all with the same problems as us, some not as bad, some alot worse (however you define worse is upto you, everyones personal struggles are different)
    But there is support out there for you, come on here, linger, read threads, try not to delve into triggering subjects - chat is a happy place to go if you are feeling lonely

    A x x
  4. ToddMAdl

    ToddMAdl Well-Known Member

    I'm 21 and I do see a therapist. It is nice to have since it is someone I can actually reveal my feelings to. She doesn't think the medication I've been on has been properly monitored nor has it been effective.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you get in then and try new meds okay they work i am glad you got a great therapist because that helps as well Depression can go into remission and sometime it can leave all together it is depended on lots of things I hope you will soon get yours undercontrol hugs:hugtackles:
  6. ToddMAdl

    ToddMAdl Well-Known Member

    Thank You! Now all I need to do is get through this so that I can get through being lonely and having fear over it. It is no easy task for me but I at least have to try.
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Yes try okay it is worth it and let us know how it goes You can do this okay make it happen hugs:hugtackles:
  8. gakky1

    gakky1 Well-Known Member

    Some people never beat it, my therapist mentioned that some people need to stay on meds their whole life, think of it as people having diabetes, high blood pressure, etc, they never beat their disease but control it, same as an alcoholic too. Perhaps don't think of beating it but not having it affect your life in a negative way, I realize that depression will always be with me, just need to learn better ways of living with it.:unsure:
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