Most times, i feel my parents and brother are very sadistic and evil and i hide in my room and pray that they don't find me because they are going to suck my soul out from me. They don't care about my feelings, they enjoy making me sad, my brother giggles when i scream in pain. He laughs so hard whenever he can manipulate my mother into telling me that i'm a bad person. He always agrees with her, and then my mom pats his head. He thinks it's funny when i cry. He has autism, so my parents are always siding with him, like he's just this innocent, poor little thing that was hurt by me. My mom thinks he is so much better than me and swears at me and calls me names for not being kind enough to him. Dad handles me rough when i forget to put the toothpaste cap on or something very meaningless like that. My dad yells and throws things and repeats how selfish i am, and takes me to this therapist that agrees with everything my parents say and she doesn't believe me. Whenever i try to explain my feelings to her she just ignores me and basically tells me that they are not important. She gives me a list of things to do and says to do them and whatever i'm feeling doesn't matter. My parents beat my dog. My dog is so important to me. she was and is my one and only friend that i ever had ever. i love her so much and i can't stand when they hurt her. They rarely ever hurt me physically. They won't let me lock my door so i can't hide from them. But i have no idea how to grow up, so i can't leave them. I'm just very afraid and i don't want to live with them the rest of my life, they make me so exhausted. i can't take living in this fear anymore. they probably aren't hurting me at all, maybe i'm just paranoid, i'm just so afraid of them. Even if what i'm describing isn't abuse, i just don't feel strong enough to handle it. i ranted, and i'm not really sure if what i just said makes sense, cause i'm so tired. But i had to get it out somewhere. Thanks if you actually read this.