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Not sure if this should go here..

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I know a lot of people out there have it worse off than I do, so I really shouldn't be complaining.

But three months ago I had everything going for me. I had a wonderful job, an amazing girlfriend of 4 years (who I had just recently purchased an engagement ring for) and even prospects of getting an even better job.

It started off "bad" when I got laid off. I say "bad" in quotes because it's all relative. I thought that was the worst thing that could happen. Then, my girlfriend left me. But she wasn't just my girlfriend, she was my first best friend, we had spent everyday together in college, we were college sweet hearts. She left me because it was my fault, I had become so in love with her that I had turned into a controlling person. Not physically, but emotionally, it was taking a toll on her. I recognize this was my fault.

Her leaving me wasn't the worst part. The fact that the past 4 years seems to mean nothing to her because I can tell she has moved on and is happy. She's already found a new apartment, she's happy and I know this for a fact. I should be happy that she is happy, but let's face it that won't be the case for a while. How she could spend everyday with me for 4 years yet move on so quickly is what kills me the most. I lost my other half.

As for the prospects of the new job I was supposed to get, I just got denied. I'm depressed as hell and don't even see the point of getting up in the morning.

I had EVERYTHING going for me 3 months ago. It's all in the toilet, I have absolutely nothing now.

And really there isn't much of a point in me posting this. But I don't really have any other medium for venting. So, here I am.


total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
I am glad you are posting hun You have lost alot your job your best friend so much to deal with emotionally.
I do hope you hold on hun as there will be more job opportunities and you with some therapy can see or find out why you became so controlling so next time you find another one that hold your heart you will not be that way again.


Staff Alumni
Hi and welcome...sounds like such a rough spell that it is no wonder you are feeling this way...please continue to post and let us know what is going on for you...welcome again, J
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