Not sure what I should do - bipolar husband mentioned suicidal thoughts

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by marsh1211, Jul 23, 2016.

  1. marsh1211

    marsh1211 New Member

    My husband of 6 years and I are getting a divorce. Something is nagging at me. He said he tried to commit suicide 3 times in his lifetime. From the ages of 6-16. He's purposely driven while intoxicated knowing he shouldn't. He's always said he contemplates it but won't because he doesn't want to hurt those he would leave behind.

    He told me he wants to be alone, doesn't want to be married and I should be glad I won't be around and subjected to him - because he doesn't know what will happen to him and 10 years from now do I want to come home to him dead after he's decided to do himself in. He has said this more than once in the last few weeks.

    This leaves me so sad and sick to my stomach. Should this be a concern? Should I mention this to anyone? I feel such a burden with this knowledge and makes me sick to hear him say these things. Should I brush this off as Bipolar talk? It doesn't sit well with me at all.
  2. WhoaThisPlaceIsScary

    WhoaThisPlaceIsScary Well-Known Member

  3. WhoaThisPlaceIsScary

    WhoaThisPlaceIsScary Well-Known Member

    Honestly.. trying to wrap my mind around a coherent way to sum up my advice.
  4. WhoaThisPlaceIsScary

    WhoaThisPlaceIsScary Well-Known Member

    It's crazy,what you can trick your mind into thinking..or rather your mind tricks you into thinking..wait "you"are your mind.
  5. WhoaThisPlaceIsScary

    WhoaThisPlaceIsScary Well-Known Member

    Heavy shit...but not that uncommon.I've heard this story before.I think the "right"thing to do would be to "help."But will it help?Is it worth a try?Probably..yeah that would be the "right" thing to as to how..I'll leave that up to an "expert."
  6. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    You could suggest that he talks to a counsellor or a doctor. Or tell him you are here if he wants to talk. Hugs. Take care of yourself too.
    iam likes this.
  7. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Anyone who says they are thinking about, or they start talking about suicide should not, repeat, SHOULD NOT be ignored. Yes, mention it to someone if you think they can help. Or, tell him that he needs to seek professional help and talk to someone about his feelings and emotions. You dont mention if he takes medication for his bipolar or not.

    It could just be a cry for help as the breakup of his marriage is affecting his emotional stability. Even so, it still means it could be a dangerous time for him and how will you feel if you just ignore him and he does end up harming himself?

    Take care and stay safe. I hope the situation does get resolved and he doesn't harm himself in any way.
    moxman likes this.
  8. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    He is throwing red flags your way. Have a serious/blunt talk with him about this topic if he says he is then ask him to consider getting help.

    Its a huge burden for anyone to shoulder.

    Take care
  9. marsh1211

    marsh1211 New Member

    Thank you for the insight - he is not on medication, he was officially diagnosed in 2013 - but def. had it before then. He refuses to take medication or see anyone.
  10. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    If he refuses to take meds and wont talk to anyone, then theres not a whole lot more you can do for him. You cant put your whole life on hold on the off chance he might harm himself or worse. I really dont see what else you can do apart from mention whats been said to his doc or someone who knows his medical history.
  11. sadcat

    sadcat Well-Known Member

    Hi Marsh
    I experienced that problem - of wantitng to kill myself , a number of years ago.
    I mentioned I felt suicidal to my wife a number of times.
    She ignored me, or so it seemed .
    In the mean time I tried to kill myself 22 times. I was not good at it.
    Finally , I found out that soem meds I was taking was causing me to feel like taking my life.
    Knowing that has allowed me to fight off the urges.

    I have since looked up a number of sites on suicide.
    They all seem to agree -
    When anyone is mentioning suicide, or saying they feel like ending their life ,
    anyone they mention it to should consider that they will make attempts.
    I think (but not sure how) that once told by someone they are considering suicide ,
    That the person should report their situation to someone who can get them help.

    I am sorry, i do not remember the details of how.
    BUt I do know that being told that is a red flag that the person is reaching out for help, and
    That the help is needed desperately.

    I will try to find the articles I had read .

  12. sadcat

    sadcat Well-Known Member

    HI Marsh

    Went to the national Suicide Prevention Lifeline site for you:

    It suggests the following:

    It can be scary when a friend or loved one is thinking about suicide. Let us help. If someone you know has any warning signs we encourage you to call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) so that you can find out what resources are available in your area. Your call is routed to the Lifeline center closest to your area code. The local crisis center may have resources such as counseling or in-patient treatment centers for your friend or family member. Most importantly, please encourage them to call the Lifeline.

    I hope that helps you.

  13. sadcat

    sadcat Well-Known Member

    Just one more comment :

    Please try to understand , that when someone is talking about suicide - -that they are reaching out to you for help.
    If you do not help them - -they will make an attempt , or may already be making attempts.
    Sooner or later they will succeed in killing themself.

    PLease take action for your friend or loved one's sake.
    Be assured - -they are speaking to you - and that is an act of pleading for help.
    If they did not want help , they would not mention it to you .