not sure what is what

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by icequeen, Jun 10, 2011.

  1. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    last few weeks have been really weird not sure if i am awake dreaming or dead. so sleep deprived i cant tell the difference when reality merges with sleep and the nightmares. last time i cut i dont even remember doing it just woke up covered in blood. had to sms friends to ask if i had spoken to them as i didnt know if was dreaming i did or not. head is full of childhood abuse and whether i should tell therapist, which is not the reason i am seeing him, its just been triggered. just so confused atm and angry at the same time that this abuse is now clouding what i see as something more important, to me anyway, and then therapist brought it up again when i would rather forget it again. sorry for rambling...just needed to rant.

    hope to back to "normal" mode asap

    hope everyone holds on :grouphug:
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Ice, this is concerning...can you please contact your MD or pdoc and let him/ her know...this is cyber so I cannot tell the etiology of this, but would feel better if someone who could evaluate you had a look...thanks
  3. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I'm sorry you are having such a horrible time. I agree with sadeyes, please reach out to part of your support if you can.

    I apologize for not being there for you more at this time. Please take care.
  4. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    Cant you get something to help you sleep.
    I take seroquel.
    You could have bled to death.i was upset reading this.
    Id urge you to go to a doctor asap.
    Take care
  5. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    it was a bank holiday here on friday, so i email therapist telling him what i thought was going on. its really odd not being in some sort of control, not remembering and not knowing reality from dream state. today is better day but still not sure what is what. have abandoned exposure therapy until i get a response as its all so confusing. having acupuncture tomorrow so that may help. i hate this not knowing or lack of control...and its got really bad this last few weeks its scary.

    thank you all for your thoughts..and sorry to be a problem and hope to be back in the here and know to help everyone as i have been helped.

    look after yourselves, i am just fighting a battle you have had and won..and i hope to win too.

  6. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    Take care of yourself
  7. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    acupuncture was weird...nothing first time but bit hyper today and still this feeling of dreamlike. psych says its ok and to persever with exposire but to stop if it gets too much. i am not a quitter so will persevere. odd day after acupuncture...hyper and unsure and then something is going on.
    thank you all for your concern, and apologies for not being able to offer support atm.. you peeps are a life saver, even told pscyh how i have been helped here... take care everyone...and thank you...xx
  8. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Good to see you. Please continue with helping yourself through this yet be wary of pushing too fast and too hard.

    Take care, keep in touch. Have been and am worried about you.