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Not sure what to call this....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by son, Apr 9, 2012.

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  1. son

    son Member

    I am not sure what I should be writing, I have never written on a blog before.... I feel I need to decide by Friday whether to continue my struggle or just give in....... the saying 'what doesnt make you stronger will....' you know the rest - seems to at the forefront of my mind and I have tried to be strong and believe that 'things can only get better', but it feels like I take a small step forward but then get pushed 10 back.....I have been struggling for years, but it is the last 12 months that has really taken it out of me.....and I have no energy left....
  2. Kate777

    Kate777 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you feel this way. Do you have any family or friends supporting you at the moment? SF is a fantastic place for finding support from people who can understand how you feel and what you're going through. Have you spoken to a Doctor or anyone about how you're feeling?
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Sorry to hear you are so down !! Are there any groups in your area for depression.. You can check with your hospital to find out..They usually don't cost anything..It helps to have someone you can talk to about these kinds of things.. Keep posting here, sometimes it takes a while for replys when your new..The more you talk the more others will respond..Take Care..
  4. son

    son Member

    I am on medication from my GP - I dont talk to my family about personal things and my friends have their own lives - they can not be burdened with my issues......
  5. Kate777

    Kate777 Well-Known Member

    Well there is plenty of help and support available on SF so you always have somewhere to come and talk etc. I'm sure your friends would want to help and be of support to you but I understand if you don't feel comfortable talking to them, it can be hard to talk to people directly in your life sometimes.

    Do you feel that approaching your GP again might help? There may be an alternative medication which would help more or they may be able to offer some form of counselling if you would like to talk to someone face to face?
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Sorry that you are going through a tough time...and I know how that feels about not being able to talk to friends or family. But we are here to listen and help. You can talk to me if you need someone to talk to.
  7. son

    son Member

    Thanks for responding.....I really appreciate it.

    I do not feel I have anyone to really open up to - my GP is of the opinion that I have to sort this out and I have had counsellors that have said I dont need couselling (or at least what the Health Authority can offer) as I know what my issues are.....I have opened up to others in the past and feel that they have not listened and brushed me off (this goes back to childhood) so I trust no one with my feelings - ....

    I have so much going on or rather so many emotional issues to address - well it feels that way....i dont know where to start - and I have been trying to sort these issues out in the last 12 months and I do not feel I have solved anything - just made myself exhausted trying....

    I have lost my purpose to love (It has been taken off me, when my ex left me fo no good reason & taking my step daughter out of my life) and I am struggling with my reason to live.....I have no reason to continue to struggle to try and sort things out...

    My friends are there - but what can they say - 'it will be ok in the end'... easy supportive motivational words full of love and support but the words and hugs are hollow - they dont know things will be ok, things will sort themselves out.....

    Thank you again for reading
  8. toshi

    toshi Well-Known Member

    Please keep expressing what you feel here. Sometimes just hearing what others say who may not know the particulars, but whose depths are just like yours will help you get some perspective. Bless your friends who hug you and show you love. It would be awful if you did something and they felt you couldn't share with them. I certainly don't have any answers. But I know sometimes just having a place to say exactly how i am feeling, no matter how dark, helps to get me through for a little while -- maybe, just long enough until i can see some light. I sincerely hope you find your way today.
  9. AsphyxiateOnWords

    AsphyxiateOnWords Eρεβος/Νύξ

    Just out of curiosity, what issues do you have or what have you been diagnosed with? You said you see a GP, have you seen an actual psychiatrist or therapist about your problems?
  10. son

    son Member

    I appreciate your words of support thank you......I feel so crap I can't describe...... Just want to not have to do everything against what feels like a howling gale in my face as I walk up a mountain with my body up to my neck in a bog..... So every breadth is hard ......
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