Hi, I'm typing this on my phone because I'm paranoid someone will figure out I've been looking this up. I've tried to commit suicide 3 times and failed because I can't even do that, and instead of support from my family to try and help me out of this depression they just call me crazy and an attention seeker. I have noone to talk to and I don't really want to talk to anyone but I think I'm ready to just die right now. I was sexually abused and have to go to court on Monday for it and I'm terrified, I got mugged and my belongings stolen a few weeks ago, my mother is a heroin addict and my father is in prison for murder. I'm nothing like them but they don't seem to understand me and I have ended up quitting everything I've ever done. I don't have a job because I'm too scared to go to interviews, I quit university a few months ago because I just couldn't be bothered anymore and I tried to jump off a bridge 2 months ago but a taxi driver grabbed me andpsychologists just keep telling me I have to go see them every week but I don't want to. I know I should but I'm terrifed of talking to people and I can't handle talking about things like this but typing it out to strangers who can't see who I am or judge me for being so pathetic kinda helps this. I was in a relationship for 2 years that ended 7 months ago and I still can't get it out of my head. I'm not really sure what to do. I self harm most days and I tend to burn my legs because noone can see it. I seem to be having meaningless sex with people when I'm drunk because I need some sort of relationship or something. I don't know, I am probably just a *****. I have taken 12 tramadol and I'm feeling quite dizzy and horrible and I'm in two minds weither to take the rest of the pills I have. I don't know what to say really. I don't know why I'm even typing this. I just don't think life is for me and I had to write down what was happening in my life somewhere. Sorry.