Hi,
I'm typing this on my phone because I'm paranoid someone will figure out I've been looking this up.
I've tried to commit suicide 3 times and failed because I can't even do that, and instead of support from my family to try and help me out of this depression they just call me crazy and an attention seeker. I have noone to talk to and I don't really want to talk to anyone but I think I'm ready to just die right now.
I was sexually abused and have to go to court on Monday for it and I'm terrified, I got mugged and my belongings stolen a few weeks ago, my mother is a heroin addict and my father is in prison for murder. I'm nothing like them but they don't seem to understand me and I have ended up quitting everything I've ever done. I don't have a job because I'm too scared to go to interviews, I quit university a few months ago because I just couldn't be bothered anymore and I tried to jump off a bridge 2 months ago but a taxi driver grabbed me andpsychologists just keep telling me I have to go see them every week but I don't want to. I know I should but I'm terrifed of talking to people and I can't handle talking about things like this but typing it out to strangers who can't see who I am or judge me for being so pathetic kinda helps this. I was in a relationship for 2 years that ended 7 months ago and I still can't get it out of my head. I'm not really sure what to do. I self harm most days and I tend to burn my legs because noone can see it. I seem to be having meaningless sex with people when I'm drunk because I need some sort of relationship or something. I don't know, I am probably just a *****. I have taken 12 tramadol and I'm feeling quite dizzy and horrible and I'm in two minds weither to take the rest of the pills I have. I don't know what to say really. I don't know why I'm even typing this. I just don't think life is for me and I had to write down what was happening in my life somewhere. Sorry.
I'm typing this on my phone because I'm paranoid someone will figure out I've been looking this up.
I've tried to commit suicide 3 times and failed because I can't even do that, and instead of support from my family to try and help me out of this depression they just call me crazy and an attention seeker. I have noone to talk to and I don't really want to talk to anyone but I think I'm ready to just die right now.
I was sexually abused and have to go to court on Monday for it and I'm terrified, I got mugged and my belongings stolen a few weeks ago, my mother is a heroin addict and my father is in prison for murder. I'm nothing like them but they don't seem to understand me and I have ended up quitting everything I've ever done. I don't have a job because I'm too scared to go to interviews, I quit university a few months ago because I just couldn't be bothered anymore and I tried to jump off a bridge 2 months ago but a taxi driver grabbed me andpsychologists just keep telling me I have to go see them every week but I don't want to. I know I should but I'm terrifed of talking to people and I can't handle talking about things like this but typing it out to strangers who can't see who I am or judge me for being so pathetic kinda helps this. I was in a relationship for 2 years that ended 7 months ago and I still can't get it out of my head. I'm not really sure what to do. I self harm most days and I tend to burn my legs because noone can see it. I seem to be having meaningless sex with people when I'm drunk because I need some sort of relationship or something. I don't know, I am probably just a *****. I have taken 12 tramadol and I'm feeling quite dizzy and horrible and I'm in two minds weither to take the rest of the pills I have. I don't know what to say really. I don't know why I'm even typing this. I just don't think life is for me and I had to write down what was happening in my life somewhere. Sorry.