I feel liek I'm giving up all over again. Last night I was on the phone with my closest friend(On this forum)and my ex, and I swear it was the scariest thing I've heard. All the cussing and yelling and threats. What I hated the most was how my ex was talking like he knew me. "We still love each other. You still love and care about me. Just think about it" I've been thinking about it for weeks, and i'm completely terrified of him. He threatened to hunt me and my friend down. He started calling me a bitch and I didn't know what I want. All I could do was sit there. All I could think about was 'How can I not hurt him?" Do I not even care about myself now? Will I never be able to honestly make myself happy? I'm scared about alot of things. Strong guys, the dark, sleeping, hurting people. I feel like this person I am becoming is pushing everyone away. I don't talk with my closest friends like I use to. They are all silent around me or just say they have things to do. I'm feeling more angry than I use to. I would punch myself or things around me, not people. But what if I do? My worst fear of all is hurting people, and i feel like that is all I'm doing lately. My dreams about getting molested are coming back..it just adds up to my fears and troubles. I call people until 2 am in the morning, never wanting to close my eyes. Is this how my life is going to be forever? if so I just want to die.