I'm not sure were to start but as you can see I'm new here. I have severe social anxiety and I'm a 36 year old male living at home with my mother. The social anxiety has become so bad that I have no friends anymore and never leave the house except at night to go get groceries, late at night is when less people are out. The thing is I'm a complete loser and I've worn out my welcome here. My sister is moving in soon who I don't get along with (she's very two-faced) and her dick head boyfriend and I can't stand the guy( arrogant and quick to judge). Anybody with social anxiety would under stand this is not a good situation. I love my mother but the rest of the family is just to hard to deal with. So I have two choices either suicide or leave and become homeless because I refuse to live with them. I have no income, no friends to rely on so I'm pretty much screwed. I have tried to reconcile with my sister but it never does any good, even after I gave her a gaming computer for christmas last year. Her welfare ran out so that's why she's moving in and even though this guy she's with isn't family he has to come to. Anyway I've tried suicide before like putting a loaded shotgun in my mouth but couldn't pull the trigger and hanging myself, obviously I failed at that. Sorry if my post sounds a little crazy I'm just not in a good state of mind. Maybe in latter posts I'll talk more about other things going on with me (this not the only thing). I've had depression and suicidal feelings since I was 8 or so.