Not Sure What to do.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jackking, May 13, 2011.

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  1. jackking

    jackking New Member

    I feel that I have reached the peak of my life. I have done many things: Military, College, good relationships, a wonderful wife, lots a traveling, great professional career, owned a successful business, helped people, had more options than most of the people I knew cause every thing was going so well... for decades.

    Well, about 3 years ago it all fell apart. The economy fell, my business bankrupted (i quit my professional job 15 yrs ago so my experience and education are out dated). So no chance of a good paying job or a life style any where near what I lived before, my friends have not left me, but I can't afford to do the things they do. My personal house was foreclosed on, we moved to another State so I could hide from my creditors, my credit is in ruins (all my business defaults are on my 13 page report). So can't have a credit card, bank/checking account (it will get garnished). And no chance of trying to restart a business. I owe the IRS and State taxes in the millions (from the business) at this time. So, I know I'll never have a single dime for the rest of my life.

    As a business owner Ive been buying my own insurances that will be terminated for non-payment next week... and there are meds that I must have for Bi Polar/Panic Attacks. My vehicles have State and IRS liens on them, not insured or registered cause i can't afford to. So just a matter of time till those are gone, or I'm in jail for driving illegal.

    Basically from Rich to darn near homeless in 3 years. I hate the life I'm living and see no real hope for the future. My best times in life are behind me, and it's a fact that counciling nor anybody can change. My wife (recently married) has been supporting me, I feel horrible having to ask her for money, I don't leave the house cause I can't afford the gas, I eat meal left overs to try and be as little burden as possible. We haven't exchanged holiday or aniversy gifts, because I've suggested we don't, the truth is I couldn't afford to.

    So now I find myself thinking, what's the point in living a life I hate, I'm sane and of sound mind. I know more bad is around the corner. We have exchanges all our personal friends and family contact info, account numbers, tax info, passwords, retirement info, life insurance policy info, and living will and funeral wishes with each other... in the spirit of us as a couple being prepared for the unexpected. She knows I'm unhappy, but doesn't realize how seriously unhappy I am. I've been thinking about my situation for a long time... and I'm approaching a point where I have to do something. I just don't know what.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You start over as many have done just that you claimed bankrupcy with your business then that is a clean slate now you go to a financial councillor you tell
    them what has happened they set thing straight set things in motion that will start you from scratch again and will help rebuild your life.

    You still have the skills from your professional job go upgrade okay take a few courses to get yu up to date

    Many people have lost everything due to the economy it is no reason to take ones life look at it as a new starting ground
    1. go get the financal councilling help to straighten out all you debt claim civil bankrupcy if you must get support you need to move forward okay
    2 update your education to get back into your professional field
    taking your life will only destroy your family you do not want that :hugtackles::hugtackles:
  3. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    I really really feel for you ..i think people dont really understand the huge amount of stress that comes with business and debts. I think you are a very strong person for not giving under the pressure of it happening at the time. I hope people here can give you some good advice on things and if you ever need to just talk feel free to pm me :)
  4. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    My heart goes out to you - I know about eating leftover meals and so on. Actually if they are left in the fridge with some cling film - its just the same as a normal meal once you heat it up!

    Thankfully, I've been poor most of my life - well not thankfully, but its taught me to be frugal and how to eat healthy despite a budget. Like you I've sometimes suffered with not getting out. Thankfully I've not been divorced, my secret? Never actually married!

    Anyhow, you can be poor financially but its your poor spirits which concern me. Depression twists our vision of the world to a a landscape most people would not recognise. We shun care sometimes - then get worse, and its a spiralling thing in which each negative we have seems to pile up until we can not work one out from another.

    Counselling might not help. but it might do - you never really know sometimes - but maybe medication might. Not sure what your using there if anything. All you need is that little boost to get you interested in making a comeback of sorts. A man of your ability is NEVER outdated just for the lack of a few skills which he can easily pick up on. Once you feel a bit better in yourself you can learn more - and you can teach an old dog new tricks.

    If you owe the taxman or state and have not got it - that's just their hard luck. Do make the necessary arrangements to stop them taking everything - you need a home and might be able to wangle a car at some point. After all if you are to pay back the debts then you need to be able to work.

    Do see a doctor though as you might need some change of meds or maybe what your using (if anything) is having no impact.

    Poverty is nothing really - a setback I see it as plus I've never had a great deal so I know how to live on a little.

    you might be able to get extra help due to your condition - keeps back creditors and so on if you are diagnosed.

    If you were ex military, you might be able to get help there.

    Maybe writing a bit about your experiences would help also - keeping a diary is good especially if you take meds or are looking to tame some depression that might be managed without them. It's amazing what you miss, especially when not taking notes!

    My best and sincere good wishes to you. I'm sure that your experience will stand you in good stead - and bear in mind there are many ways to earn money online - so maybe looking into that might let your business acumen find something to work with without having to leave home or pay for expensive courses and books and so on.

    Good luck Sir and God bless also.
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