Not sure what to feel

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Theremaininghalf, Nov 16, 2009.

  1. Theremaininghalf

    Theremaininghalf New Member

    Last month, I lost my twin brother and best friend to suicide.

    He hung himself.

    He left me a short note, asking me to explain why he did what he did, thinking I would understand.

    A huge part of me died with him, but I have not yet accpeted this has happened.

    I keep thinking he will call, or we will meet up at the weekend.

    I want to recognise the fact that he is dead, but I can't. Something will not let me, and I do not know what that something is.

    I need a guide to grief, some kind of rule book to follow.

    I think I am scared of registering this loss.

    I am rambling now, but does anyone have any constructive ideas?
  2. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Very sorry to hear that. I don't think there is any rule book to follow I'm afraid. You need to get along one day at a time. Stay here and talk with people. :arms:
  3. Piffle

    Piffle Member

    I am so, so sorry for your loss.

    There are books and sites out there that deal with recognizing and coping with grief, and maybe someone here has read something worth recommending; but is there any chance that you could also talk to someone? (If you haven't already, of course.) I mean someone like your doctor, who might be able to suggest a counselor or something; someone to help you cope with this.

    If that seems a bit too daunting at the moment, maybe there's a relative or friend that you'd feel comfortable talking to? There are also helplines you could phone for support and advice, and yes, if posting on this lovely forum is any help, that's great too. Post away.

    I hope you find the help and understanding you need.

    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 16, 2009
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Have you thought about attending a grief support group? It might help to be with others that are suffering through a loss and they can share some insight on how to be able to move on. Whatever you do, please hold on to the love and good memories. They will help to keep you going. I'm so sorry for your loss. I believe those we lose are someplace that allows them to watch over us. And I'm sure your brother is doing that right now. Hoping that somehow you get past the grief and know that he loves you.
  5. shealan32

    shealan32 New Member

    im not sure what to feel either, my husband hung himself a month ago. please email me if you want to talk...i am going through hell too..M
  6. Missyou

    Missyou New Member

    I am so very sorry for your loss!!! :(
    I have just lost my dad, you just need to spend a day or to by your self, and just let it out, it will be hard, but you mustn't keep it in,
    it will come,
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You need grief councilling professional one. You also need to know everyone will grieve differently at their time in their own way. I have a identical twin and each time she tried suicide i felt a loss as well. My brother killed himself too
    Please try to get some professional help psychologist that deals with grief as it does help you release pain and move on. Please i have and it does work.