Last month, I lost my twin brother and best friend to suicide. He hung himself. He left me a short note, asking me to explain why he did what he did, thinking I would understand. A huge part of me died with him, but I have not yet accpeted this has happened. I keep thinking he will call, or we will meet up at the weekend. I want to recognise the fact that he is dead, but I can't. Something will not let me, and I do not know what that something is. I need a guide to grief, some kind of rule book to follow. I think I am scared of registering this loss. I am rambling now, but does anyone have any constructive ideas?