not sure what to title it...

I attempted suicide this November and came fairly close to succeeding. I ended up spending a month in a small town hospital 'volunteer' unit specializing in addiction and short term crisis bedding. I wasn't a volunteer but they said if I left they would call the police. I was put in a place that was not able to help me appropriately and basically just left. I was in a different town and had a different doctor and none of the professionals seeing to me were talking to each other. I got a pass and a drive into my city for a pdoc appointment and she had no idea that I was still there. But after that I did seem to leave fairly quick.
Anyway I am sort of rambling. I know I am bipolar but now people keep throwing around more disorders and I don't know what to believe. My brother also had major surgery at the time I was in the hospital. A week after my attempt he was attacked with a tire iron and had to have reconstructive surgery. Then I am out and I am sent to my sisters for a bit and have the Christmas thing with everyone but after my mom ended up in the hospital. She is still there and I think I have put her there. I drove my mom over the edge.
Things haven't changed at all accept my sister gets my parents all riled up every once in awhile. I was made to do a drug test, which came back negative, thank god.
I am slipping again though and I am afraid to say anything. I wish I was just better and no one would worry about me or get hurt by me. There is just too much pain.

 

Sounds likea geniuine case of being overwhelmed. I've had a couple, believe you me. It isn't very much fun at all.

As for the slipping, there's no miracle drug, or treatment that can just take all the pain away before you can say "Wow".. but there is time, and there is people to talk to. If you want I'll be one of them. You can add my MSN, if you so choose. I'll listen if you need an ear to be open.