not sure what to title this

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by mattymatt, Dec 21, 2011.

  1. mattymatt

    mattymatt Member

    I was abused by my ex girlfriend and the whole while i just ignored what she was doing to me and to our children. Now she has convinced social services and the family court that it was me who abused her. Although they still know she abused the kids (she tried to deny it but they didn't fall for that). The final hearing has just concluded and the children have been put up for adoption.

    She is the only girl i've ever been with, i was with her from the age of 16.

    After the abuse i faced i am somewhat scared of forming a new relationship. I know not all girls are like her but what if i find one who is? i don't think i could stand up to her. Plus if i was lucky enough to find a nice how can i expect her to give me a chance to prove i'm not who the courts say i am, they say i'm really dangerous to any girl i become involved with. It would be too much to ask a girl to involve herself with me under those circumstances, how could she trust me?

    It's impossible to find support for someone in my position and i still have a lot of emotion problems, like depression, paranoia, self harm, insecurity and a lack of trust.
    Then again i am really lonely, i don't have many friends and i rarely see the ones i do have.

    The sad part is that literally all of my ex girlfriend's friends have contacted me on facebook saying they know it was her not me. most of them even wrote letters for the court but it wasn't enough.

    One of my friends keeps saying that he is going to find me a girlfriend, but a nice one, so i geuss all of these problems are on my mind now. I am not ready for a relationship but i know that when it comes to it my loneliness won't let me turn one down. I'm still vunerable yet on the surface it appears that i am not.

    I really don't know what to do with my life now.
  2. Rose24

    Rose24 Chat & Forum Buddy

    hey hun, i've been in an abusive relationship now for a few years so i know more than most how manipuative these people can be. the sad fact of the matter is that since you are the man in the relationship, the police will likley take her side over yours, aside from hireing a brilliant lawyer theres not a lot you can do to clear your name. Its obvious to eveyone around you that you are not an abusive person in nature and so if you were to get into a new relationship, i wouldnt worry about any lable the courts put on you, you have to trust that yoru true nature will show through and the person you meet will get to know the real you.

    its tough for anyone whos been in a long term realtionship to start afresh, take your time, when youre ready, it'll happen anyway. Your friends are obiously trying to help and it proberbly wouldnt hurt to meet a few new people, that doesnt mean you need to jump into a relationship with them, sometimes its just nice to talk to new people :)

    take care,