My name is Melissa, I'm 24 years old and lost a friend and former roommate to suicide on 2/17/2009. This loss has been so profound to me. I'll never forget finding out she had taken her own life. The pain is with me every day. There's no accepting the loss of someone you loved to suicide. Her death, it's possible to accept that, for me. Her suicide is not. I would have moved heaven and earth to help her if i could have. But, I am just one of many. Many friends throughout her life who were devastated by the loss of a beautiful person. And i cannot even comprehend the pain her parents feel, nor her younger siblings. I've felt a very strong need to help or be there for anyone who needs someone to talk to. I know that's not all suicide is about; simply being there for someone may not make a difference. I was not able to be there for Lauren, though, due to certain circumstances. I'm not saying I could have saved her life. But I could have been one more person who was there to listen, and in that way, Perhaps the end of her life could have been a little better. Does that make any sense? But because of a VERY MINOR falling out, I was not there, and I'll never let go of that. I also think of death a lot since she died. I am not suicidal, just oddly obsessed with death (of myself and others), if that makes sense. I'm not meaning to sound like a victim here. I'm meaning to say if I can help anyone, ever, through suicidal or depressed feelings, I'll feel like I was able to do something for my friend and I feel it is honoring her memory. So... that's why I'm here. And i'd love to be here to talk if any members need someone to listen. Hope that's ok. sending positive vibes to all.