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Not sure where to write

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by cinlin, Apr 10, 2010.

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  1. cinlin

    cinlin New Member

    I believe you've lost one of your own.

    His name was Brad. I just found that he was coming here.

    I had no idea. I was cleaning up his things and was trying to find a clue as to why he killed himself. This site was in his favorites. If you have any info please tell me. He left behind 3 young children and many friends and family. Anything you can tell me. Something. Please.
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry for your loss. We don't always know each others names here. As for why? In my case I had no defense against myself when I became despondent. I think I can say for all of us here, that for whatever reason, we have a deep pain that is unbearable. For me, I was like an animal with it's leg caught in a trap when the instinct is to chew off the leg. Some people cut off their own limbs to save themselves. Instinct is very powerful, and when the instinct becomes needing to die to escape the pain, this is when suicide happens.
  3. cinlin

    cinlin New Member

    I didn't believe him. I didn't think he could be serious.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i am so sorry for your loss i hope his family has support his children friends
    so many affected so sorry
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss...and so sad for his children...
    if it's who I think it is he was so very depressed....depression is an illness..
    sometimes there is nothing anyone can say or do to help when we feel like this.
    it's up to us to help ourselves as well and the depression clouds our thinking so that's not always possible...
    we believe things (in our own minds) that are not the way they seem...
    problems that seem trivial to "normal" people are like insurmountable hills to us..
    we are so sensitive that we interpret things the wrong way at times...
    little things hurt us a lot....
    I recommend you get some counceling for yourself and the children to help get you through this pain and grief...
    I have lost someone to suicide so I understand both sides of the fence....
    again I am sorry for your loss and I wish you well ...
    we are sad to lose him here too...
    take care...:hug:
  6. cinlin

    cinlin New Member

    But he didn't seem depressed. He talked to me a few times and I thought he was just being silly and dramatic. He wasn't the type to be depressed. He was just going through some tough times. We all do. It wasn't that big of an issue I thought. He told me he was going to kill himself and I really didn't believe it. He wasn't the type.
  7. CloudCatching

    CloudCatching Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry for your loss.

    And you keep saying he wasn't the type... Sadly, there isn't a type for suicide. :\ Everyone can get to that point, different things can make or break people.
  8. cinlin

    cinlin New Member

    So what could I have done then? Or was there really no way to help? I'm just trying to understand what could have pushed him this far.
  9. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    after someone we know commits suicide it is a normal part of the grieving process to feel like you are now...to want to know why someone would do this and what could we have done differently is the number one question...
    the whys, what ifs, if onlys, ...the one with the answers is gone so we are left with that void...and the never ending grief...
    in the end it is the one with the illness that makes the final decision...
    all we can do is try to look after ourselves the best way we can...
    take care......hugs

    p.s....you might like to google :www.suicidegrief.com. It may help to hear stories from others going through the same as you....and they offer support..
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