Not sure why I feel this way

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Cardholic, Jan 25, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Cardholic

    Cardholic Member

    If anyone looked at my life from outside, they would be envious. I have the perfect job, own my home, drive a nice car, Have 2 wonderful adult sons, and am engaged to a wonderful man... yet, I have a strong desire to commit suicide. It's almost like an obsession, and the more I think about it, The more it becomes real. It seems to start with fleeting thoughts, but then the thoughts become more regular, then daily, then I start reading about it, then on forums, etc... I have the means, I don't know what's stopping me from doing it. I guess I don't want to disappoint my fiance or end up in the hospital again... If I do this, I have to get it right... the thoughts scare me, but I feel under control right now... But, slowly, I feel like I'm losing control, that's when bad things happen

    Thanks for listening
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Sorry to hear things are spiraling down for you. You said "in the hospital again" so that makes me think you have dealt with this in the past? If so then you know you can work your way out of it again and it is really just the disappointment of having to do that again? Are you getting any help now without the hospitalization? Therapy, meds, or other supports? I hope you keep talking to us and find some supports that help you through this :hug:
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.