Not sure why i'm posting this.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jami e, Apr 12, 2010.

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  1. Jami e

    Jami e Member

    Well i havent been around long but it's time i posted my own problem Heres my problem, i'm 16 i have no job, no qualifications, no money, My parents will only put food on the table for me, and my mate thats literally accross the road from me, has everything he wants and he doesnt do anything to earn it. He's much gets him everything and sometimes it really gets to me, I work for everything i have and it's coming up to my 17th birthday and everyones driving already and i dont want to go out with anyone because i just put to much of a killjoy on the whole thing. I'm smoking weed everyday now to try and get away from reality and for that short couple of hours it works, and i feel great. Cant get a job to get a car and havent even got enough money for a bag of crisps but all my other mates do, so when i see them sitting there eating and drinking without a care in the world it just makes me cry and when they ask why i just say "im thinking of my mum"...

    Then when i get back to my house and walk into the nicely decorated room and then up to mine and notice my walls are dirty coloured paint but i dont have the money for them, my clothes are everywhere because i just dont want to do anything and then look at everything in my room and compare it to my mates, sky, plasma, all of it...It makes me feel like shit.

    I had counciling when i was younger and already tried suicide, Which i think im going to finish and just get myself out of here.

    16 year old school drop out with nothing going for me. I hate this and will probally end up killing myself if not then moving to self harming, Right now im just stuck and i cant get out!!! :sad:
  2. ninap41

    ninap41 Member

    you have to get an education. that's one of the hardest things to overcome; stepping back into an area of your life you've once failed before, but it is neccessary. as for smoking... at least you're aware of what you're trying to forget through smoking. The only way you can stop weed is if you correct the areas of your life you know you're trying to forget about. if i were in your position i leave home for a little bit without it (The weed) and trying to get my head straight....maybe take a bus somehwere to hotel for a night away or anywhere where you can take your'self out of you're home environment and tHINK. just think. or take a sleeping pill wake up in the morning and think. pack your stuff, but nothing you know you could harm yourself with. spend time away from an environment that induces your anxiety. Take one turn down the street, don't look at your neighbor friend who has everything. Don't stop in your tracks with a second thought. walk somewhere for a day and keep on walking no matter how ridiculous it sounds, and get the hell away from EVERYTHING. take money you need, even if it is from your parents. if you feel like you want a joint, develpo some self control, and LET YOURSELF FEEL everything for once...maybe you'lll find some clarity. But don't run away. give yourself something to do that will take you "out of yourself".
    please take this advise no matter how ridiculous it sounds.
    -- Nina
  3. Jami e

    Jami e Member

    Thanks for the reply but i havent got 2 pennies to rub together so i'm not gonna get very far, and without smoking i feel like i want to kill myself faster and sooner, So it's become a part of my life and it's hard to change, I wish i could just go somewhere but my dad and stepmum now keep only 1 debit card and they dont use cash, So i cant even take any which i wouldnt now. So i'm just stuck in my room drowning myself in thoughts and i'm scared.
  4. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Hi Jamie,

    I agree about getting an education. Have you considered going to college? What would you like to do with your life? If you study then you'll qualify for funding through bursaries or loans, it might not be much but it would be a start. Is there anything you're interested in studying?

    You're probably feeling quite overwhelmed with all the thoughts running around your head. Try to not focus on the bigger picture just yet, concentrate on one thing at a time & the rest will follow later.

    Take care :hug:
  5. jenniferelaine

    jenniferelaine Well-Known Member

    Just wondering.. said you dropped out of school. Did you dad and stepmom take a hard line with you when you dropped out? (Is that when everything dried up?) If so, what would happen if you went back to school?

    Also, I don't know how it works in the UK, and what type of school you're talking about (high school or college)...but in the US, you can get government money to go to school. Does the UK have anything like that? Government loans or grants?
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