If my situation is a full-blown crisis. I've been thinking for some time now about killing myself. And I think I've almost stock-piled enuf meds to succeed, but apparently the success rate isn't high; I don't want to end up a vegetable. If I tell Pdoc I've been self medicating, he'll terminate me as a patient until I attenda dual- diagnosis program. And if tell him of my thoughts, he's very likely to send me to ER. I don't know whether to tell or just wait for the rest of my drugs and do it. I can't really justify these feelings. I don't have a bad life, I've just become bored with myself and others and I've lost interest in life. Is that so horrible (outside of any organized religious beliefs)? I'm not interested in drums school or group therapy. I just want someone to hear me when I say it's my choice.