not sure

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ophelia28, Nov 27, 2007.

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  1. ophelia28

    ophelia28 Well-Known Member

    i bought load of pills last week my flatmate was away the weekend so i thought it would be my perfect time. i spent most of last week happy because i decided it was the right decision for me. but i changed my mind because i was worried all i ended up with is some sort of liver or kidney failure. so i decided to cut my wrists but it hurt so much i had to stop. on monday i felt so down because i was still here i really regret not taking the pills i feel i missed my chance part of me still wants to take them now but really only want to do if know no one is around. my flatmate was there the i od dont want to see his face again but then again the second the time i told no-one and almost got away with it untill i started getting stomach pains i had to tell someone then but even if he was here he wouldn't notice so i dont know what i want to do.
    sorry for the long thread.
  2. JayJay

    JayJay Well-Known Member


    Ophelia, what is causing you so much heartache babes ? Has something gone so horribly wrong in your life ?

    Please open up and let us know. We are all friends with problems here and we help each other out.

    You are not alone out there.

    Stay safe

    Jay x
  3. ophelia28

    ophelia28 Well-Known Member

    i just feel overwhelmed by so many feelings and memories from things that have happened i can't seem stop them. i just want them to go away and but they wont so i want i be nothing and not exist anymore
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    It might help if you post those memories and feelings and let others here help you sort through them. So many people here are feeling the same way you are and helping each other can help ease your pain.
  5. ophelia28

    ophelia28 Well-Known Member

    i can't even just thinking about it just makes me want to throw up or hurt myself i've spent so much time and blocking everything out that i can't do it anymore i feel like i'm sinking more each day.
  6. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm so sorry that I can't do more for you. All I can say is please find the strength to hold on to anything, be it teeny or even weeny that gives you a flicker of hope. And I'm passing along all the hugs I can and a hand to grab on to if it will help in anyway.
  7. Perishable

    Perishable Well-Known Member

    I refer to that as the 'past'.
    I know how that feels, it hurts the soul with the worst.
    But, I have taught myself to put those 'happenings' in the 'past'.

    Memories are the good that has happened in life that you remember.
    If it hurts you, I doubt you would like to call it a memory.

    I have gotten over my past, and put the past.
    It's hard though, every once in a while I will reminice. Not good. Or I will mares (a.k.a bad dreams). Reliving the situations.

    I trust you can move forward, try to do things, build a present to move along your past. It is not simple. (it wasn't for me). It takes willpower, motivation, and the want to be better, to get away. I sincerely hope you will take some of this into consideration. I'm still young, I still have things to figure out. But, I have spent a lot of time secluded. Being in solitude for a great amount of time can certainly destroy your sane mentality. But, if you use that thinking time to accept you past. (accept is a horrible word to use, you shouldn't have to accept the bad in your life...but I cant think of a more suitable word)
    Then perhaps you will feel relieved. You need to find an outlet or a release that does not involve self harm, again kind of a hard task. Let me know how things are going.:wink:
  8. JayJay

    JayJay Well-Known Member

    Hello Again Ophelia

    I really need to know what it is that is causing you so much pain. Just what has happened and I am ready to listen and give you all the help that I can.

    If the memories are so painful and it is hard to talk about anything, you can PM me. You know that I willentirely respect your confidence.

    Just what has happened babes . . . . I am here to help . . . We are all here to help.

    Just try to open up and tell either me on PM or on this thread. You can be assured that we are all here for you and that none of us are here to judge you . . . just to support you !

    Stay safe

    Jay x
  9. ophelia28

    ophelia28 Well-Known Member

    ty for your replies but i'm sorry i can't open up because i can't find the words to say what it is i need to say. the only thing i can think clearly about is ending it. sorry
  10. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    hi, theres no rush to open up and spill the beans so to speak, just know that when you are ready to talk then we are here to help, if you don't feel like airing your problems in public then use the private messaging hun.

    theres no rush and no pressure

    take care and please stay safe
  11. no point

    no point Well-Known Member

    ophelia, i felt compelled to reply to your thread. i'm so sorry that you're hurting. i know how memories and thoughts can affect you but i can also assure you that when you tell someone about them, they hurt you less (at least in my case). the choice is yours. nobody can force you to tell them. i wish you all the best. my PM box is always open if you want somebody to listen :hug:
  12. JayJay

    JayJay Well-Known Member

    Ophelia, We are all still here to love and support you. Please remember that. Please, at any time feel free to reply or to PM one of the girl members if you wish.

    Stay safe

  13. ophelia28

    ophelia28 Well-Known Member

    ty again for your replys i have tried to talk but it's like i have lost my voice i don't know how to say what it is. please dont be angry but i have made my choice i've already took about <methods> pills sorry
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2007
  14. JayJay

    JayJay Well-Known Member

    Please Ophelia, Please. If you are reading this, please call for help !You are so much better than this !
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2007
  15. JayJay

    JayJay Well-Known Member


    Right now, you have to visit your local hospital / emergency room and take with you in your pocket the containers / packets which held your pills. Everyone here is so concerned for you. We all care for you. You are so much better than this. Today, I have felt so so bad and so ready for the end, and I have posted an update on just what hell I have had today. You are going through your own hell. We know that full well and we understand fully.

    Please PM either me or one of the girl members if what has happened to you causes you to prefer to talk to a woman.

    We all love and care for you. Please remember that.

    take care

  16. JayJay

    JayJay Well-Known Member


    Please respond and let us know that you are ok . . . . Jay Jay x
  17. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I hope you are okay ophelia. You don't have to share with us if you are not ready. When you are we are here to listen and offer support to you. There are memories we feel that we are unable to share with anyone. I have memories like that too. Some were blocked out for a long time before they came back. I have found someone I feel safe sharing some of them with and have found that the more times I am able to talk about them, the easier they become to face. Not that it is ever easy, but they don't trigger me as much as they used to. If you ever decide you are ready, you can PM me. I will answer you as soon as I can. Please stay safe hun. :hug:
  18. no point

    no point Well-Known Member

    hey ophelia,

    i hope you're doing better today. :hug:
  19. ophelia28

    ophelia28 Well-Known Member

    ty so much for all your messages and support. i'm sorry i worried so many people. i ended up getting an ambulance and going to hospital where they kept checking me all night. i kept throwing up all night still think i might now but i'm ok.i also had alot of time to think while i was there and on my way home and realised i can't keep doing this to myself anymore and that i want to start dealing with things and be able to move on with things ty again for all the messages and support amd sorry for worrying people.
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