Not sure..

[ashcrostep]

I'm not sure what is wrong with me. I dont really like eating, I love food and the taste of it, but I always feel terrible after eating. I feel sick I guess, and I just feel disgusting.
I can go a couple of days without eating, and I guess I like the fact that I can do that and so I feel hungry. I like that feeling as it is something to focus on which I can control, rather than the feelings inside which I cant control.
When I do eat I can have a massive binge, as I know that whether I were to eat some toast or a massive meal and loads of sweets/choc then I will rubbish afterwards either way.
So I guess I dont know whether I do this as a way of self harm? Or is it an eating disorder? Maybe both...

 

[icequeen]

hi ashcrostep, it could be classed as either or both as you said, depends on your motives, but my first instinct would be an eating disorder. you can have a good relationship with food, and still be repulsed by it, you have control over it like nothing else.

may i ask if you see yourself as overweight, underweight or average, have people commented on your weight? how do you feel about your weight?

how long have you felt like this? there are so many options. have you discussed with your doc?

whatever the reason you feel the way you do, you need help and i suggest you see your doc as soon as possible before it spirals out of control. :hug: