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Not sure..


Well-Known Member
So.. been with my girlfriend since June 28th.. Since we have seen each other a few times.. We live kinda far from each other. Up to 6hrs by bus.

Anyway, I'm just not sure what to do because it always seems like she is gone. I can't contact her. Or she has to do things..

She had been living with her mom still.. She is 19 and I'm 20.. Anyway, her mom can be a bit harsh sometimes imo on her.. and takes out her frustrations on her a bit too.. a lot of work..

I guess I just question if she really wants this to work out or if I'm more a way for her to get away from things..

Currently she is house sitting in the country where she has no phone signal except in a few areas...

She is going to go hiking or something beginning of September, then has online college courses possibly next month as well..

Just I'm not sure what her plans are.. if she is going to come here or still live at her moms.. and I just feel like I need someone actually there more often..

I just don't know if she really cares about me or if I'm an escape for her..

It's like I'm with her but she is never here.. :(

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
I am so sorry things seems so uncertain hun. When you have time tell her your concerns your thoughts okay share them with her. I do hope it all works out hun open communication now i think is necessary so you know where you are indeed standing hugs
Hiya Swift.

There is a member here who has pretty much got what i have to say in their sig, but i have carried this thought long before the internet was invented!

Sometimes love is letting go, if that person loves you the same back, they will return and keep returning.
Guess what i am trying to say is you can only control your own emotions, not hers.
Its about who you are and how special and warm that I know you are.
Relationships come and go and its important that we can love as much afar as when that person is close.
Be who you are, like yourself and let that beauty shine out, thats when the people you want in your life will come to sit in its warmth.
I so wish you peace and contentment.


Staff Alumni
Hi Swifty,

You too seems to be at the very beginning of the relationship. I would say, let the door open but don't invest too much emotionally yet. Its a little bit like when you start a fire, at first you just add kindling. If you add big chunks of wood when the fire has not very well taken, you just smother the whole deal. Just take your time and keep on working on making your own life better. As much as you worry about her, its up to her to work things out with her mom. You can only offer her your support. hope this help.


Well-Known Member
Maybe she's just happy talking less than you are, it's not uncommon. It doesn't mean she doesn't care, but if you're not happy and the two of you can't compromise on something, there is nothing wrong with needing to walk away.

I suggest you talk to her, calmly, about your concerns and see if you can reach an agreement.
My boyfriend needs more contact than I do. We agreed that no matter how busy I am or how much I want to be alone, he gets a good morning text and a good night text, every single day. Then from 9pm most nights we have at least a brief phone call to catch up on the day. But we get to see each other more, because we live locally. Maybe you could try something like that?


Well-Known Member
Thanks guys.. Just can't contact her at the moment. And I know I shouldn't put too much emotionally into it. I'm just not sure how to react I guess.. She is my first relationship I have had real physical contact with so I'm kinda new to this..

I'm just not really sure what her plans are or anything, as she tells me vague answers.. Seems whenever she is available its last minute.. But I guess I shouldn't complain. I just would like to talk to her or just text you know?

But I guess I can't because of where she is right now, not having reception.. Just makes it hard I guess.

Want to just hang out more and get to know her more or even just have simple conversations. But I haven't spoken or talked to her at all in a week.. Yeah I know seems silly.. Only a week.. :(

Idk.. Guess all I can do is wait and see what happens.. Just seems like forever between visits.. When she or I do visit each other it's usually for 3 or 4 days tho..


Active Member
I think u need an honest talk with her, to figure things out.
Does she really wants to be with you or not!
And if she is always busy and lives far away and u can't see or hear or contact her it means that your relationship is not good at all.
So u really need to do something about it or u will always feel hurt and understood.
If u have questions ask her, she can answer to all of your questions.
We can't decide for her.

I know how u feels , I have been in such relationship and to be honest not hearing or have any contact with my bf killed my soul a lot.

Wish u the best!


Staff Alumni
Dont beat yourself Swifty, a week can seem a very long time! You know, before you do anything rash one way or the other, just keep in mind people don't move at the same pace. Some walk fast, some walk slow, but if you want to make the trip together, it's easier for the faster one to slow down and adjust to the other. But first, its a good thing to figure out if you are even traveling to the same place. Both in you 20s, you gotta find where you wanna go. Until then, keep it simple and keep it fun when you are together, and dont plan your world around her. She might have a million things to figure out for herself and its nothing to do with you and your worth. Anyhow, that's my 2 cents here *hug


Well-Known Member
Thanks again guys for all the support. Finally got a text from her today so that's good. She is still watching the house out in the country so she can get some money. I just am going to wait things out see what happens for now. :hug:

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