Not that i am capable of murder, however...

Discussion in 'Therapy and Medication' started by DMT, Nov 22, 2012.

  1. DMT

    DMT New Member

    I just want to kill my therapist!!

    Every time i finish my 50 min session, with a women that i pay a fortune to to help me feel better, i walk out of her over priced office and just want to tear the world apart piece by piece.

    Its just not normal! I walk in sit down and decide that i have had enough. Every week!!!

    Could it be that during our time together i open a door that cant be closed so quickly?
    Could it be that i have so much to work through that i cant get it all done in 50 lousy min?
    Could it even be that i expose my 'self' too damn much that i cant recover without her?

    There are so many things that it could be but all i know is that i want to kill her for this. i don't just want her dead but want the satisfaction of doing it my self. Consider it pay back for the walls she has torn down in my head, for the torment that i go through by begin with her, for all the and i quote 'lived experiences' that we all go through.

    i don't pretend to know much but i am told that its a good thing that i feel this way. i am told that she really helps me get to the core of the problems that i live daily. My wife thinks that its to be expected because i am getting in touch with feelings that i have blocked out so so long and now that i am revisiting them its bound to hurt.

    all i do know is that the day she dies ill move on from her to the next therapist and ill probably want to kill them too.
  2. Wispiwill

    Wispiwill Well-Known Member

    Your wife may be right. Not having had therapy, I don't know, but it makes sense. Have you thought about telling her how you feel or have you done that already?
  3. DMT

    DMT New Member

    i have kind of said something but perhaps this week i will show her this post and see what she thinks. thanks for reply
  4. Wispiwill

    Wispiwill Well-Known Member

    Your welcome. I hope things go well for you. Good luck.
  5. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    A therapist is a tour guide, a planner, a facilitator, and a director... nothing more. If they're not the right person for you, and you're paying private pay or your own insurance, then replace them. Ultimately, it is not the 50 minutes with a therapist that is going to cure you - only you can do that for yourself. Set goals and objective and have the therapist help guide you through managing progress on those things. From what you stated, it sounds as if she is in a no-win situation as you say you sit down and already decide that you have had enough.
  6. catecholamine

    catecholamine Well-Known Member

    As Pick said, they can't do it for you. It requires work on your part. The therapist is supposed to teach you about coping skills and challenge your incorrect/unhealthy thoughts and beliefs. That could make you angry, but that's how it is. Don't get angry at the therapist because they challenge you on your thoughts, they're trying to tear them down and show you how they are incorrect.
  7. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi DMT - I know how important it is to have good therapy with another caring human being at the right time..... I had about 8 months of "psychotherapy", once a week during which sessions I just talked it all out - it was therapeutic just to talk it out, helped clear my head, and he knew what he was there for, basically just to listen and receive it, and to affirm in the right places.

    Having been through the process, and come out the other side I'm totally convinced that each person does have the ability to be healed lying dormant within themselves, and the therapist is there as a sort of "catalyst" to aid in the healing process and of guiding their client into self-awareness and acceptance of reality. I will PM you the details of a mentor who also knows how to do this stuff, he does telephone/Skype around the world, and is totally awesome (imo). (Also, if you feel like murdering him, you'd have a long way to come :).... (joke)