Not that important really.

[BLacK]

Today I've fell out with one of my (online) best mates, and I never realised how bad it would affect me. I'm sorry to be annoying but I'm going to tell you my story about him lol I need to get it off my chest...

I met him about 1 year ago on a chatroom site (that I'm not going to name) but we only became good friends about 2 month ago, his name is Chris btw. He was great, we used to talk for ages and he always made me smile, then I realised that I loved him.. um this sounds pathetic but anyway.. I had real feelings for him, I don't know why, I can't explain. He said he did too.. I started getting jealous over little things, I won't list any, and then I found out a major thing that he had done with a girl, made me feel sad.

Anyway, about 1 month later, he started taking a really long time to reply to my messages, he did before, but now he was taking longer. I was ok, I could be patient for him, then he was getting to the stage where he just totally ignored me, this really upset me. Anyway, today, there's this girl called Sadie (harmfulkisses) and she removed Chris a few days ago. Anyway, he only realised today when this other person told him.
Chris & I were just talking to each other, and I was pasting messages from Sadie to him, and vice versa. Then I said,
"I was going to remove you, but I couldn't."
and I meant that I was going to remove him because he ignores me, and that I couldn't because I love him :sad: but, he took it wrong and got really angry at me, he said to me 'f*** you and f*** sadie' he said that he would block me for me???? So he blocked me. This upset me because I never even wanted this..

Later on, the girl I mentioned before, that he did something with, opened a conversation with me, I'll write in brief what was said,
her: Why did you fall out with Chris?
me: Why don't you ask him?
her: Because he's sad.
her: He loves you, you know.
me: No he doesn't.
me: He hates me.
her: No he doesn't.
me: If he didn't then why would he block & remove me?
her: :huh:?
me: Stop messing with things you don't even know about, stop trying to get involved, you don't have to know everything about him just because you f***ed him.
Then I blocked her. Yea, ok, it was a bit pointless to write about that conversation, but like I said I'm just getting things off my chest.

After that, Chris unblocked me and said something like 'why did you and Sadie do this to me' and I was like 'WHAT?!' he did bring it on himself. I couldn't be bothered with him, he really upset me when he removed me, so I just said 'remove my mobile number off you're phone, and never speak to me again'. Maybe that was a mistake.. But I can't take the pain he caused, I don't know why I feel like this online. I then blocked him after I said that, I don't think he was that bothered.. he never cared.

I'm sorry to waste everybody's time writing about this, I just had to write it down, get it off my chest.. I'll totally understand if you never understood any of it lol. Sorry x

 

[harmfulkisses]

omg kaye, i'm crying in real life to that.

I feel like sh**, this is all my fault, seriously, I hate the fact this has happened. All we want is to all be together but that won't ever happen, and now the other one who I care about is on 'chris' side. It sucks, and I really hate what's happened

 

[BLacK]

Dw, it isn't all you're fault.. :smile:
Like I said Chris brought this on himself. It's my fault aswell lol.
He still hasn't 'left' either.

 

[harmfulkisses]

It sucks so bad, he think's that we don't care, but don't he realise we're doing this BECAUSE we care, we hate being ignored, and yeah I supposed we're both the jealous type and I know we both think about them 2 girls (no names), but it's like, the other day I was concerned about what goat said to him, and I wanted to help him, but he ignored me, so that's what got to me, and caused all of this and now ''he''' is taking chris' side and it's like, I know you love chris too but I need you more then he does, but he don't realise that and he just blocks me.

 

[BLacK]

Yer I know I really wish we could just undo this you know lol.
Maybe we wouldn't be so messed up..

 

[harmfulkisses]

I know, it's feels so sad but at the end of the day, it's opened my eyes, because I really thought that when they both said thay cared, they meant it? But obviously not. It probably doesn't even affect them like it's affecting us? I actually feel sick in real life because I have allowed them to do this to us.

 

[BLacK]

Yeah, this may sound.. um I dunno, but I can't even eat :sad: Maybe that will help a few things lol.. but the smell of food makes me want to be sick. How can stuff online do this?!?! It confuses me.

 

[harmfulkisses]

Uhh, I know, it's like the only thing chris says over and over again is, ''I've known Sadie for 4 years now'', it's like he can't think of any other reasons why he likes my friendship. So i'm like well 4 years don't really mean jack s***. To be honest, it hurts alot how chris is being now, I used to hate it when he said how he cares and how i'm like his sister and how much you(kaye) deserve better, because I knew he didn't really mean it? He always had better things to do & better people to talk to. Now it's just so clear, but the other one hurts more, losing him is killing me, and chris knows how much I love the other one, but obviously he don't care about anything. So I've lost them both.

 

[BLacK]

This is hurting my head really. I have a headache.
I don't really want to talk about any of this anymore, so this is my final post on this topic.. for today anyway.