Not the best solution...

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#1
I know suicide is not the best solution. But I've been feeling really down lately. I broke down about a week ago and could not stop crying. It is unusual for me but for some reason my stress got to be too unbearable and I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't explain to my wife why I was felling this way by saying anything other than "I am simply broken". I think she must have excepted that. I didn't tell her I felt like ending my life.

My stress hasn't been caused by anything unusual (I suppose) just work, family type stuff. I have been very emotionally unstable lately. I feel (and have herd) that I have the emotional capacity of a child and can't resolve any of life's real problems in a rational way. I've never thought this of until lately, but i suppose it could be true. I've been very stressed and "snappy" lately.

I just saved the International Suicide Hot Line number to my cell phone. I never thought I would need it but lately I fell like it could be helpful.

Sorry for the depressing introduction, but I guess I'm hoping for some "Angel" to come by and tell me everything is fine. I also hope to make lots of friends on this site and hope that someday I could be helping one of you.
 

Raphael1

Well-Known Member
#2
welcome to the forum. Sorry you're going through a hard time right now. I'm also considering it constantly. But I know that in the end you just got to keep going.
 

Marty482

Well-Known Member
#3
I think that your pain is trying to tell you something. Isn't that what all pain does? If you leg hurts you feel it as a way of helping to fix it. Look at your pain and see what it is telling you. It is pointing to the answer itself.

I just said a prayer for you and urge you to pray too.

Sometimes we just go through a rough cycle and things change. Chnage can be frightening but also joyful! Your pain stems from a need to change somehow. Figure that out and you can attend to it. What is the focus of the unhappiness? Think. What are you really lacking or needing that you can't get or can't articualte?

Try to add or subtract things from your life and see what effect those things have. I had a boss that was horrible,but i never knew how bad till they didn't show up for work one day. Then I realized it wasn't the job that was the problem or the work itself. So you need disatnce and clarity maybe.

You seem to be expereincing a crisis of meaning or a spiritual crisis. Maybe you need to develop greater faith and understanding in life. Philosophy or spirituality may be what your are looking for.

Maybe group therapy or a 12 step program would help. New people,new ideas ,new supprt for you. Don't loose hope just try to see what you REALLY need now and then try to find it!!!!

I will help in anyway I can. Write if you like!

Marty
 
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