Not understanding

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by prathamrai, Feb 11, 2013.

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  1. prathamrai

    prathamrai New Member

    I have been facing a difficulty and need your valuable help. I am male 26 in India. I am in a relationship since 7 years with a gal who also was my college-mate. All these years we had a wonderful time together. Last week I discovered that she used to chat with strangers on the net in 2007. While I casually asked her about the same, the conversation went to many areas, wherein she told me that 7 years back just when I had proposed to her, there was another guy who loved her and who was telling her all wrong about me. She had told this to me at the start of the relationship itself. But now she told me the whole truth. That he was telling her things about me which put me in bad light. I being very busy then, did not devote time for her. She told me that the guy proposed her many times and once he pushed her at the wall in the staircase and came close to her and proposed to her again. She went away after a while and later she kept in touch with him as a friend. But she confessed to me that she got the confusion that whether that guy was right for her and whether I was wrong. Whether he truly loved her and she also confessed that she was attracted to him. But soon she discovered that he was lying things about me and she broke the friendship with him and never talked to him again. When I asked her that why didnt she tell me this before and kept this a secret so long. She told me that she didnt want to lose me anytime. She also told me that after that thing never she broke the trust in our relationship. I am getting sleepless nights and depressed days thinking that when I gave total commitment to this relationship, she developed an attraction towards another guy and that too in the early part of our relationship (so called honeymoon period). Her confession came out of force and not voluntarily. She said that she loves me and will keep loving me always and that I should forgive her. I feel cheated and backstabbed. It may seem a small issue to some of you, but for someone like me who believes in true love and is conservative, this is a big matter. Need your help. I also need to know what would you'll do if you were in my shoes. I also want to know was she right in her actions and her ways ? Please help
  2. frantic

    frantic Well-Known Member

    I've had kinda similar things happen in my marriage. I was very hurt at first, but both times managed to forgive my husband and move on.

    If I understood that right, what happened with your girl and that guy was several years ago and has long since been over. She chose you. Your the one she wants. It was so long ago, honestly, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Talk to her, let her know how much all this hurt you, then try to let it go.

    I hope this helped a bit.
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