not urgent but read it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by theworldisstupid, Aug 21, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. I'm not at risk of suicide really. But I think about doing it in the future if my life doesn't improve. I feel like i've told myself it's gonna get better a million times and it never does. I feel like there are lies that society puts out that are actually facts but only for a small number of people.

    Here's what I mean: College is so much fun you just get drunk every weekend and xxx and party.

    ^^^^that's true for a small percentage of the population who get into good schools or party schools. The majority of the population do not.

    Another one: You will be rich just like us one day!

    ^^^^ another lie the rich people tell who want to keep the system that only benefits them and 1% of the population so they don't get taxed or keep people living their shitty lives and feeding them money.

    I don't even want to be rich so i don't give a shit about that. I'm just using it as an example.

    What am saying is that I don't think most people can follow their dreams. I think following your dreams is the biggest lie i've ever heard. Their are so many roadblocks that society puts up for stuff in the military and graduate school (two things I want to do) that only a very very small percentage of the population qualify at the end of the day. But maybe i'm wrong idk.

    Ok here's my next issue that actually does make me want to kill myself one day: xxx never like me and i've never gotten them to like me. I am attractive though but I just cannot get in bed with them or even a date. Just makes me feel so awkward and I just want to laugh because I bet any xxx that looked at me would not think that so I just laugh about it sometimes but other times it makes me feel so unwanted or unneeded or I feel like I just don't have the right personality.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 21, 2011
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you hun. I think that all dreams can be fullfilled but some can hun I was told i could not and would not accomplish anything where there is a will there is away i did become someone some dreams will work while others maybe more challenging but i think with effort they can be accomplished just my thoughts though
  3. Jelly

    Jelly Well-Known Member

    With perseverance and ambition, any dream can come true.

    Some people are gonna get in your way, others will tell lies, but in the end, you gotta know it's true; dreams do come true.
  4. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Being rich is its own ghetto.

    But as for the college scene - well in some ways its just people having fun - but on the other hand - instead of getting drunk and hopping into bed with anyone - maybe its best to stay sober and NEVER sleep with someone just because you feel like telling everyone in work about it.

    I worked in an office once and the women - wow - I mean every detail of the weekend conquest was raised!

    The rich will get their comeuppence. Here in the UK - what do think is at the root cause of the riots? Its disparity of wealth - a FEW have social mobility and can go out any night - eat out when they want - and go anywhere. Some of these people recognise the privilege - some resent poor people like me for pointing it out.

    But they can keep their Michelin restaurants, expensive wine, art and all the rest of the little bubble world they occupy. Enjoy it - it won't last - and one day God - life - fate - is going to equalise you.

    Where I come from - the rich are despised - we've fought them for centuries and with the internet we will spread the truth about what is happening.

    The world is at war - the disparity of wealth issue - its going to see nuclear mushroom clouds popping up one day. I hope I'm sitting on a hilltop with someone I love (well - I will be either way - lol) and I'd raise a toast!

    Well - don't worry put there - you'll see your grandkids grow up - we'll only see nuke clouds over a specific area of the middle east - we might catch the radiation fall out but what's a little radiation fallout between friends?

    So yes - the damned rich! But - hey! they live behind alarms, locks, guards - and in some ways its a prison. They look around nervously - wondering who might be onto them - who might point things out which make them uncomfortable.

    BUT you got to be as gentle as a dove - and wise as a serpent. We got to clever as hell! Devious for the good cause - willing to wait this out - maybe build a family - get a life to back to up - but make no mistake Sir! I implore you to not let anger get in the way of things!

    The man or woman whose dreams are in the light of day - and whose dreams are not for themselves - are dangerous,

    And we have to be dangerous.

    There's some radical sh** going on in my mind right now - I feel liberated by it - feel good about feeling bad!

    So many men are broken by the system. I just want to step up to it. Sure - it has to go. Sad as it might seem - the world needs radical changes and there is something called history is more important than my own individual happiness.

    I think everyone needs something to live for - but in a strange topsy turvy world - we need something to die for also. I mean something that means something. A passion perhaps.

    So yes - its good you worry about the world and others.

    Dreams we have to follow! Sure - this being rich and having lots of jolly fun with the chaps and girls - many of them are bored to death - divorced or unmarried and have more money to get more fu**** up than we can.

    Love matters more than money.

    People who put a price tag on everything in life - they know the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

    Good luck!

    Be radical - but clever! Get educated - join me in the trenches. We got the enemy surrounded bro - this is going to get serious - and I'm so happy! I shed a tear for anyone not in the fight. But we got a place for you - here in the ranks of the army of the lost!
  5. Nice that was an awesome response dude. I kind of feel the same way. I want to be peaceful sometimes and just be glad i'm alive in a world that has more than just humans in it. Other times I want to start a revolution to change things and even die for them.

    I don't know what to do. I think being smart is a huge curse. Even worse when i'm not in the good schools.

    My new philosophy is just, screw bitches (b1tches) they are evil any way for only liking certain types of guys even when they are hot. If some smart hotty came up to me wanting sex I would never say no just because she was smart, that is so stupid. So they are evil and whatever fuck em. They pretend to believe in love and all that but it's just a show for men to feel better about themselves. It's really sad actually.

    I want to enjoy the world. That is what im trying to say. I just want to enjoy every part of life.

    So I guess i'm not suicidal just really sad and have no hope. I hope to never get to a point where one day I actually do jump off a bridge but whatever. Fuck the world for not being perfect lol.

    I think I should embrace my not-so-normal lifestyle and just show people that i'm such an interesting guy and that guess what, i'm rare. I'm rare because I don't just mold into cookie cutter personalities. i'm rare because i'm smart yet good looking. i'm rare because I care about people other than myself occasionally. i'm rare because i didn't have a normal upbringing.

    But bitches, always the b1tch3s that have to say that's not ok. Whatever. Now my thoughts are just flowing i'll end this reply.
  6. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    Why do you feel like you wouldn't qualify for the military? If you have your diploma, and don't have any bad health problems, they will happily take you. It's good pay, your medical insurance is taken care of, rent/bills, I guess you live on base if your not married, if you are married, they will give you $1100 a month for rent outside the base. The bonus pay is quite high. I think you have to sign up for 2 years. After you get out, if you decide to not make it a retirement job, they will pay for you to go to college, they will also give you $1100 a month on rent and bills, while you go to college.
  7. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    You don't want to be that way mate!

    That's the kind of attitude the people who rule us want you to have!

    Sex is a powerful force - commercial interests manipulate it and try to turn us into worshippers of the 'religion' of sex. Its sold to people - and people feel the need to compete with others over sexual conquests.

    Hey - as a young man - I was the same. Sure - you wanted to get laid - basically just to get laid! No emotional attachment.

    As for 'bitches' - its a bad word. Sure - there are 'bitches' who have it down to an art form - but just because a women approaches you for sex - it does not make her a bitch! That's 'rap talk' and I'm not backsliding on intelligence just to appear 'hip' to a bunch of white kids who think talking that gangster talk is cool. Best buy a dictionary - you can find words in there that are ideal. Don't borrow from other culture the things they don't actually like! The average black women - hates the word 'bitch' - it is derogatory.

    Hey - for all you know that 'hotty' is just depressed - and reaching out. Ofc course if your drunk you will not notice - which I like to be soberish. I make epic mistakes drunk.

    I think we've been brainwashed into buying sex as a commodity - another life accessory - a token to show others. But sex is not about that - its the most intimate you can be with someone - it is of course part of the reproductive process. It should be a special thing.

    So when the 'hotty' strolls up - your DNA is saying "Get her pregnant" - sometimes! lol.

    Sex with no emotional attachment is mutual masturbation. A trade off. Sure it can be fun - but your flying without natures code. We are monogamous at heart - relationships tend to not work otherwise - I mean with a man and woman - or indeed a lover of the same sex.

    For one its safer! IF you sleep with ten people unprotected - your will likely catch something in the UK - so that's a consideration. I hope you have pockets full of condoms for parade of hotties. You must have enough condoms to actually fill them up with hot air and fly! Wow - the minds eye can see that sight - me floating to the heavens - and God saying "Get the **** out of here dude".

    To be honest mate - you need some romance. Get to know a woman before you actually do the honours. Sure - it is a novelty in the UK to actually have a date before - your in bed with her. Well I guess hard times are with us but there are cheap dates - I mean nice places to go that cost little. Besides - hi maintenance women are not really in my plans. I'm not the man for designer gifts - and 'expensive things'. I'll steal flowers from the park or something. Write a poem - costs nothing! And look at Shakespeare! Maybe I'll sell a book of love poems to men with no clue. And sell it to me also!

    If you tire of woman who just want sex - (and you will in the end!) find some love! After all - if you meet a nice woman - get to know her - court her (a series of dates and tokens of affection) and you are not going to EVER be thinking she is a bitch.

    Plus - you are a hypocrite for condemning women for casual sex - when you yourself admit that you'd pretty much be ready to have sex with anyone, anywhere!

    Sorry bro - but you know your wrong there.

    There are many men and woman looking for serious relationships - but if a woman chooses to have a casual affair - I cannot condemn that. If she has a high sex drive (and some women will need more than one man!) then you either accept that relationship or be honest and tell her your too consumed with jealousy.

    I thank most men with feelings for a women would be jealous. Wrong as jealousy is - its also a positive sign. If a man is jealous - he cares. But be careful - some men cannot handle that emotion and they will be dangerous. Few and far between - but - take care.

    PS - I know casual affairs seem 'safer' as you don't have to ever share anything - and you walk away with the knowledge your dark side is secret still.

    But is that a victory? :rolleyes:

    Or is it actually defeating you?

    In my experience - your running away from yourself if you think that you can hide this. Why hide it? Its other people who have a problem with depression - so if they do - they are just ignorant - uneducated and I feel sorry for them. But - if they want to think they can kick my ass for having depression - I'm up for it. Many men with depression actually patrol the pub looking for someone to play mind games with. Give me half an hour and I'll have them panting like a pup and looking like an idiot - exposed! Owned!

    Regards and good luck out there!

    "Love is a burning thing
    And it makes a fiery ring
    I fell for you like a child
    Oh! but the fire was wild" Johnny Cash.

    "A man can make a building
    out of iron and steel
    He can pay an architect
    to make his dreams real
    A woman cuts the branches
    and shapes them with her love
    From a shelter temporarily
    turns a house into a home" Johnny Dowd 'Hideaway'

    "Love oh love, oh careless love
    has set our heart on goalless goals
    Like silkless silk
    or milkless milk
    We are growing used to
    Souless souls" Billy Holliday.

    I'd quote myself but that is sooooo egotistical!
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.