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Vanquished

Well-Known Member
#1
My 26yr old son plans to get an apartment with absolutely shitty reviews, and in two of those reviews each person said they got bedbugs there! He’s not listening to anything I say because he’s desperate to get his own place again.

Our story is a complicated one, but he’s got issues. I’m not sure he really understands what he’s opening himself up to.

His next place (wherever he ends up) will be the first time he’s actually signed a one year lease even though this will not be the first time on his own. He has an elementary school reading level, 4th grade to be exact, but he’ll tell anyone that he can read college level. He has a learning disability, too. He’s a good kid (even though he’s a pain in the butt ;) ), and he doesn’t deserve and works too hard for a place there imho.

How is a mom to be supportive of that? He can stay longer where he’s currently staying in order to keep looking for something better, but he’s dead set on this. This is horribly, horribly painful to watch, and he cares nothing about what I say. I think he wants to care, but his longing for his own place again is too strong.

I’m so sad about this. I’ve always been a very supportive mom, but I’m really, really struggling to support him in this. I just don’t know what to do
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#2
i'm sorry that you are struggling with this @betteroffunknown . but to be honest kids have to make their own mistakes. when i see my adult children doing something that i feel is a mistake or bad i talk to them. i tell them how i feel and offer advice, the most important advice is think about it. but i always end it with it's up to you. if they don't make their own mistakes they will never be ready for life after you go.

and as far as his reading level encourage him to keep learning to read better or anything else that he really needs like math etc. he's not to old to learn. my wife read and did math at an elementary school level, she couldn't even read a newspaper. well she got help for her reading and writing and i taught her math. she went back to school nights and got her diploma not a ged, it was harder but worth it for her. she later took online classes to get her pca, pss, and dca licenses.

with a little help and encouragement your son could learn more. and make sure he has been tested for add or adhd. if he has one of them meds can make a huge difference. i wish you and your son the best.

mike...*hug*shake
 

Vanquished

Well-Known Member
#3
Thanks, @1964dodge.

I know he’s gonna have to learn the hard way. Just wish he didn’t. :( I think this will end up being particularly costly for him. I really hope I’m wrong.

My son does have ADHD, but he has no desire to do medication anymore. He gave that up years ago. He also has no desire to improve his reading. He won’t even admit it’s an issue. I hope someday he changes his mind about that.
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#4
Thanks, @1964dodge.

I know he’s gonna have to learn the hard way. Just wish he didn’t. :( I think this will end up being particularly costly for him. I really hope I’m wrong.

My son does have ADHD, but he has no desire to do medication anymore. He gave that up years ago. He also has no desire to improve his reading. He won’t even admit it’s an issue. I hope someday he changes his mind about that.
you're welcome. and it's unfortunate he won't take his meds. my son has add but it wasn't caught in school even though he was tested. my son was about to lose his promotion because he couldn't focus. long story short he saw a doctor and was prescribed meds. today he is very focused and learns relatively easy, and he got another promotion. maybe you can get him back on if you think it will help him. and you are a good mom, you raised him right and prepared him to go out into the world. please try not to worry too much about him. you will worry some, i still do and my kids are between 36 and 42, i think we always worry about our kids a little. but we all made mistakes at that age lol.

mike...*hug*shake
 

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