Not wanting to work.. fearful

Its hard finding a job the fits you. Now its come to the point where I feel like I don't even want to work. I feel more anxiety each day and I never 'suffered' from anxiety before. The thought of putting on a plastered face and pretend interaction with people makes me feel very uncomfortable. The thought of going for interviews is uncomfortable although I've done it few times before. I don't think i can do it again. I feel scared and I dont know why. I feel I just hate people and don't want to deal with them. I feel like the only option is to join the army since it will be instant hire maybe, but thats going to fuck me up even more. I was homestudying to maybe become a pharmacy tech. Came down to the last booklet which is the practice exam. Realized that I am no where near to passing it ever, so whats the point in that. If you fail the real exam, you wait for another year to try. I am 100% positive that I will fail cause i don't know how to do the math problems and a lot of the questions aren't even on the booklets I studied for. 3 weeks wasted on this crap, but i wasn't going to do anything else anyway. I spent 6 years in college cause I didn't know what the fuck I wanted to do. But i finally graduated with a graphics design degree and fucking hated working in stressful conditions so I quit that as well and i don't know where to turn to now. Post office isn't hiring. Gamestop didn't get back to me. Now i'm thinking of going back to school because i just don't know what the fuck to do with my life anymore!!

 

Have you tried therapy before? It may help to get you through the anxiety of getting a new job right now. Even people without depression/anxiety have trouble with job interviews so don't feel bad, try to find some support to help you through this time. Also if you want any help with the pharmacy math let me know, some books make it so much more confusing then it ever needs to be. Take care.

 

in my worst states of anxiety I felt

that I hate people too. Try to open up yourself somehow

you've got love the people around you not to hate

them. I would look around on the street and I felt as if all

the people were looking toward me and hating me and I felt

the hate for them too. try to open your soul anxiety is only your

EGO, you need to live with others and open your soul up my friend