Err... I misread something on a thread http://suicideforum.com/showthread.php?t=28509&page=4 , and I'm very confused about life, not suicidal, atm, not uncertain about anything either, just confused. I do want someone, something to kill me, and I wish I would have been able to meet someone who told me they had thoughts about physically harming me during a psychosis episode they had. The reminder of this happened during a conversation I had with someone, and I am agitated that what could of happened, didn't. I'm actually having wanted the person to have hurt/kill me more than the positive, life-sustaining possibilities the situation could have presented.