I need to die. All I ever do is fuck-up everything.Me and mom just had a fight a couple of minutes ago. She is lived that I am a transman ( I just got outed today). I feel like a disgraceful Burdon that has brought shame upon her. Its not right for me to be so selfish( I want to transition). I have been thinking about killing myself for a couple of years now, about 3, but was always too much of a coward to bo it. I have been rolling around ways to do it and have givin myself until the 6th to do it. I just feel like there is nothing left for me to live for. I have lost all interest in my hobbies, I know I am never going to find someone who wants to be with me, I am too stupid to go to college, my family hates me and has disowned me and I just don't deserve to live because I bring so much pain to the people I care about by trying to live as a man (a choice that is selfish of me). I feel so lonely right now. I don't think anyone would miss me if I killed myself. I am a sub-human monster that needs to die. I don't really want to die but its the only way out of this situation. Its the only way to find some relief and peace.