Not worth it

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by CRNG, Apr 2, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. CRNG

    CRNG New Member

    I need to die.
    All I ever do is fuck-up everything.Me and mom just had a fight a couple of minutes ago. She is lived that I am a transman ( I just got outed today). I feel like a disgraceful Burdon that has brought shame upon her. Its not right for me to be so selfish( I want to transition). I have been thinking about killing myself for a couple of years now, about 3, but was always too much of a coward to bo it. I have been rolling around ways to do it and have givin myself until the 6th to do it. I just feel like there is nothing left for me to live for. I have lost all interest in my hobbies, I know I am never going to find someone who wants to be with me, I am too stupid to go to college, my family hates me and has disowned me and I just don't deserve to live because I bring so much pain to the people I care about by trying to live as a man (a choice that is selfish of me).
    I feel so lonely right now.
    I don't think anyone would miss me if I killed myself.
    I am a sub-human monster that needs to die.
    I don't really want to die but its the only way out of this situation. Its the only way to find some relief and peace.
  2. Stisme

    Stisme Active Member

    Welcome CRNG. I am a new member to this site also. I'm glad you reached out here. This forum has helped me a great deal. There are so many kind and gentle souls here to talk, some who might feel exactly like you do. Keep coming back talking, it will help. I'm sorry that you are in so much pain. I just want you to know that I care. Please feel better.
  3. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    hey crng
    I am sooooo sorry you going through a lot at the moment hugs. remember if you ever feel like doing it should consider getting support from a community health team or referral from your gp. I hpe things improve for you soon.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are none of those things hun YOU hun are someone ok that is struggling and have no support from your loved ones. There are many hun people that transition from one sex to another that were glad they did because they just were not feeling like their true selves Get your doctor hun to refer you to a specialist a therapis someone who can help you not harm you like your family is. You are not selfish hun you are trying to survive Is there any groups you can join in your community that will help you guide you through the process hun just know that you are someone you are special ok
  5. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    CRNG, you deserve to live as you are. If you are a male then you deserve to live as that. you deserve to transition to be fully as male. You deserve this. And anyone who thinks different is not thinking clearly. Your mother is wrong. Very wrong. I am not saying she is a bad person. But I am saying she is wrong. You are not selfish. You are male living in a female body. Asking you to continue as this is asking you to be who you are not for the sake of someone who does not have your best interest at heart.

    Please continue on with your quest to transtion. Perhaps it is in doing this that you will give her the greatest gift of all. The opportunity to open her heart. To see beyond her fears. To create new avenues she otherwise would not have done. If you stifle who you are for the sake of your mother then you can possibly rob her of opportunity for her own growth. Please be true to yourself. And please consider going to the Trevor Project website if you are interested in doing so.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.