not worth the pain anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sui caedere, Sep 9, 2011.

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  1. sui caedere

    sui caedere Well-Known Member

    thinking about wanting to die.
    i know it is wrong and a lot of people will be hurt and for that i am sorry.
    but i dont think i can go on with the pain i feel each and every day i try to look happy for them. but deep down i am hurting.

    it hurts so much i think i take the short pain of suicide over the life time of pain i have in front of me.

    i did not ask to be born i did not ask to feel the way i do.

    people tell me to seek help but i have done it so many times but i allways end up back here and i dont think i can take it much more.

    Each time i get help i clamb a ladder to the top but then i fell off again and each full hurts more then the last.

    deep down i know i never get better it has been to long and deep down the only way i know i be happy is to die and get the rest i need.

    if you love me then let me go let me rest and be happy
  2. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    I don't know if it's that easy. You can't be happy or sad once your dead, because your life will be over..

    If there is an afterlife, there is likely a heaven and hell, and if we procede to kill ourselves, it's a sin that will put us in hell..

    You won't be happy there.

    I wish we could just die, and rest in peace.

    Do you have a reason for the depression? I'm sorry your hurting and feeling this way.

    Even if the depression does come back, it still can get better. I just survived a suicide attempt and I am doing fairly okay at the moment.
  3. sui caedere

    sui caedere Well-Known Member

    after so many years of self harm and suicide atmps.
    i just dont care anymore.
    lets not beat round the bush i do not want to go on i want it over i want to die.

    i have seen doctor after doctor benn on pill after pill this time no more i dont want this shit anymore.
  4. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    I understand and I am very sorry life is so hard for you. Are you not taking any antidepressants now? They had me on those things for years, one after another, sometimes several at once, and I think it was about 6 years I was in severe depression, made multiple suicide attempts also, but I didn't get better until I gave the meds up. It's been alot of years since I made a suicide attempt up until just recently. It is very hard not to deal with depression by trying to kill yourself, once you've done it.

    Instead of telling yourself you want to die, you have to tell yourself your tired of being depressed, that it can kiss your ass, so to speak. You have to be willing to want to get better, and be willing to ask for help. Change the pattern of suicidal attempts into something else, like talking to your doctor, or a therapist.

    I here you when you say therapy only works for awhile, but if it's helped at all, it would be worth it to give it another try. You owe it to yourself and the people around you that love you..

    Your life is important, you are important, it is more valuable than just giving up on everything. I wish you loved yourself more than that, but if you can't do so, I will do so for you..

    I don't want to see you die. I want to see you survive this and see your life get better.

    I also don't want to see you in that kind of pain, if you do decide to leave this world, it's your choice, yours alone, but I'll be here if you want to talk about it.

    Sending lots of cyber hugs & wishing you well.
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