not yet.... ?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Cariad_Bach, Jun 23, 2012.

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  1. Cariad_Bach

    Cariad_Bach Staff Alumni

    :cry: I always lose people. Always. They start off really friendly and we can get along well, and its lovely because I have a friend, but it doesn't last and it won't last and they will go the same as the others; I will make it happen, for sure.

    And it makes me so sad that I am destined to be alone forever. Well, not alone, but without anything lasting.

    And if I were to advise myself I would probably say that it is good to have people, and to be grateful for the time you have, rather than resenting its absence when its gone. And also, possibly, that someday someone Will come who will stick around, and if they don't last, they're not supposed to.

    But I wouldn't believe me.

    And, if you say it, I won't believe you.

    Because even here, online, I'm letting people down and getting things wrong and ruining any good thing that I have (or, had). And I'm terrified now... because when everything here is gone... Then I will be truly in danger of giving up and giving in.
     
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    :hug: I know how you feel...it seems that people always leave me no matter what. I'm not a bad person, but I feel that way when I end up alone all the time. Sometimes my personality can be a challenge to deal with, but that doesn't mean I should end up alone...and neither should you...not everyone will leave us. There are good people out there who will stick with us no matter what. Even if it seems that everyone will leave, that has to change sometime.
     
  3. Cariad_Bach

    Cariad_Bach Staff Alumni

    Your words are kind, and I thank you.

    I just wish I believed you.

    Its always my fault, you see. Its not that they just 'up-and-leave' me, its that I do something and they can never forgive me for it. Its always a different thing; I cannot predict or avoid it. But basically however I could Seriously offend someone, that is what I'll do. Accidentally, innocently or simply ignorantly, I will find out however to push that person away, and I will do it.

    Every time. Experience tells me so. Realism convinces me so. Even if sometimes hope blinds me so.
     
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Sometimes I push people away too...but I'm trying to learn how to stop doing that. You said you do it accidentally, so you aren't trying to hurt anyone...sometimes it just happens...and you can learn from that and move on. But there are people who will stick around...I can be pretty pessimistic but I'm starting to believe that things will get better. I know they will for you, too.
     
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