Note #1

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by noPoint, Oct 11, 2009.

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  1. noPoint

    noPoint Well-Known Member

    I really don't feel sorry about anything I have said.

    I'm finding it harder to just live. Everything is just empty.

    I live in the past because the present has nothing.

    All the friends I've had are getting high. The only girl I have loved is gone, and I feel completely miserable every day.

    I play basketball, but that is only a "quick fix" to any problems I have, the loneliness I feel. It's better than depending on drugs, but all the same.

    I have found it hard to even control my thoughts. I get into trances where I see people staring at me, laughing, doubting me. I doubt myself.

    I'm completely selfish. I know this. I don't care.

    I can't get over the past, how everything was cut short.

    I only hate myself. I chase dreams, and I don't believe they come true, I have no reason to.

    Every moment seems to be an embarassment, overstressed problem in the least stressful environment.

    Looking for help is an every day experience for me. Looking for books, looking for answers, and I'm still scared, I'm still nervous.

    Completely lonely, stuck with negetive thoughts that I can't overcome, that I can't control.

    If depression is a mental disorder, why isn't love? Depression is extreme sadness that lasts more than two weeks, and being sad is just being sad. Love is extreme happiness, ecxtacy that lasts, and being happy is just being happy.

    Never a pat on the back, never a hug.

    Anger is leaving, reality is setting in...
     
  2. Mathale

    Mathale Well-Known Member

    hey mate.... it sounds like you want to shout out with rage and burst a ball or punch a wall! ( dont though!! lol )

    Its horrible when you think in life that everything is just god damn 'sh*t' without a hope in hell of getting better. It really does make you feel like you want to give up.

    Im glad youre into some sport, and as youve stated, its a fix to relieve the issues you face every day. it is always a start!

    What would you say is getting to you the most? is it the girl you loved?

    Hoping to hear back from you! x
     
  3. Unsurelife

    Unsurelife Member

    Hey man I can relate to you a lot. If you every need to talk email me at unsurelife@live.com. I'm a freshman in college and have played basketball my whole life, I know that feeling you get when your on the court and you can't feel anything. Maybe we can help each other and get that feeling more often then a sad depressed one. I can relate to you in the girl situation too in many ways to bro
     
  4. noPoint

    noPoint Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the replies.

    Lonliness is what is getting to me the most right now.
     
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