nothing changes

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by among the stars, Nov 17, 2010.

  1. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    i have to write a paper for my class and decided to do it on depression/mental health and how society is obvious to it. but i should not have....it opened up a door that is now causing a lot of problems, fighting myself between living and dying, battling on and becoming a statistic, cuz that all i would be to most people. Fighting back tears knowing that they are pointless, doesnt matter how much i cry nothing gets better. nothing eases, i may hide for awhile and act like everythings fine, but its not. never has been... i look at all teh people i was friendly with 2 years ago, all my friends and i blamed them for ditching me but it wasnt them it was me its my fault they left....im sitting her forcing back tears, hating how much i have become and hating even more that im too tupid to fix it...hurt after hurt, disappointment after disappointment, nothing chnages
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    you are not stupid it is your illness that pushes people away not you. You are not to blame for any of it IT is not YOU okay it is your friends they did not stay. You can change okay things try newer meds talk to your pdoc okay try different therapy but just don't blame you because it is not true okay Keep trying keep reaching out for new friends things change they do it just takes time okay. LIttle steps at a time will bring change okay
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Sounds like youl were triggered doing this paper...step back and tell yourself that and know that there are so many ppl here who care and want you to feel worthy...big hugs, J
     
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I agree with violet...talk to your doctor and get some more help..
    you deserve to feel better....
    be proud of yourself for wanting to make a difference with your Mental Health Paper..*hug*