Nothing else to do but....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DARK_STAR, May 22, 2012.

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  1. DARK_STAR

    DARK_STAR New Member

    So, been out of work for a couple of years. Applying all the time. Being told I'm either too experienced for an entry level job, there's too much time since my last employment, or I'm not current in my industry.

    My fiance left me at Christmas. My wife left me in 2006.

    I went through the last of my savings two months ago.

    There is now a warrant out for my arrest for not paying child support and my license has been revoked.

    Was in the process of interviewing for a company who today dropped me because of my current criminal record.

    What is left. I am homeless. Penny-less. Can't see my boys. 40 living in my parents basement.

    The only question is do I do it here or somewhere else. My 75 year old mother couldn't handle finding my body so I'm gonna probably go for a drive.

    I can't even afford a cup of coffee. What the fuck. I was making 75K two years ago. Had a nice house. I am the biggest loser.

    Goodbye.
     
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Making $75k two years ago indicates you probably have skills and experience that you can rely on. The job market can be tough and it's a storm many have weathered. The reasons you have listed, and I'm not trying to make light of them, are definitely not even close to bad enough to cease living. People have their highs and lows and you're at the low end of the spectrum right now. It's not enough to end it. You have children? What would happen to them emotionally after something like this? If you have no income and are trying to gain employment, you can petition the court in regard to your child support issues. Have you considered a student loan and going back to school? Was your license revoked due to the child support issue? That is counter productive of the courts. Fight it. I know when things are down the last thing that you want to do is hear someone to tell you to be strong and fight it, but at 40 years of age you have been around long enough to know that life's a constant battle and fighting is what makes us strong.

    You can turn things around. You can slowly regain what has been lost and you can go on to see your children grow and propser. They want dad around. Hang in there. A millionaire in my town is the owner of Paul Mitchell (the hair products company). At one time in his adult life, he was a homeless man living on the streets. He started at the bottom of a company and worked his way to the top. Now he owns it. He has Lamborghini's and a mansion. Life is his now... and look at his past.

    You probably won't end up in a Lamborghini, nor will I... but you can rise again. Keep focus.
     
  3. Ande018

    Ande018 Member

    I am also a 40yr old who has lost it all. I started over 10yrs ago and then found something, a heroin addiction. If you don't know about that, don't go there. Everyday I would rather be dead. From an early age I have tried suicide and always thought of it as an option. But now I wish I could go back to before. This addiction is slow suicide and I just want it to work quicker. At 40, I think my life is over. I had it all, lost it, had another chance and now my outlook is one of despair, like a 90yr old just waiting to die. I had my shot at life and blew it. What's left? I pray for the miracle, god needs to show up quick. Why didn't I do it today? Because I would give all my pain to my daughter when I died. She is 20, but my death might kill her as well. I lived another day, however painful, I made it, hope you do also.
     
  4. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Hello
    I have been in your situation before was on top of the world to only loose it all to my ex.I ended up loosing my job was homeless for about 2yrs and i didnt have any parents or anyone with a place i could crash.I have been out of work for about 5yrs now im also 40 too but i know i have to rebuild myself and seek all the help i can get on the way as well.So what im trying to say is dont give up seek support to help you with the law child support and your own well being so uou can start rwebuilding your own self esteem again.And to vent here is great so use this forum as you need as you will find support here as well and understanding.Take care
     
  5. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    I don't understand. How can you be the biggest loser? You are not disable.
     
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