I guess there are some things I need to explain.. In my older posts I had thought I may have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) but I am not diagnosed as such.. I do however experience instances where my thought patterns differ and my attitude is different.. Around important dates and when my stress levels are higher, those different patterns become less "one" and split more so then normally.. The reason why (I think) I felt it was a total split at the particular time of the posts was because I was still going through prob the effects of going cold turkey off all my ADHD and psychiatric medications and that was the first year living on my own, thus memories and time was trying to catch up with itself.. In that time period, my memory and sensory processing was really off.. And I felt this loss of explanation.. So I reverted back to when I was younger and the other names I created for myself then.. I don't know really why my brain acts the way it does.. But I do know in my head I always have to have some "reason" why I feel the way I do.. And maybe since that's what "fit", that's what my brain decided to go with.. The other posts of my past.. Like my one Journal.. Those are fairly accurate as far as I saw the situations then.. From an outside view maybe it would look different.. maybe it wouldn't look so bad.. But that's what my life was in MY eyes.. And I guess there's something else I need to say.. I'm sorry if I am selfish.. I do not try to be.. I am trying to change.. And forget the past.. And Ive admitted yes.. I am a user.. (in a recent post) I thrive on being able to communicate with other people.. I feel useless and worthless without being heard.. But I guess maybe I should listen more.. I'm sorry..