Nothing ever gets better TW

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ShoegazeDaydream, Apr 20, 2016.

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  1. ShoegazeDaydream

    ShoegazeDaydream ~Kid at Heart~

    I'm tired of trying to talk to anyone about my problems...including my therapist. Nothing ever gets better for me. I have a toxic abusive mother who constantly yells at me and abuses me. I wish I could move out but I can't. I have nowhere to go, with hardly no money. Last night I saw my ex boyfriend who was abusive towards me cause I have hardly anyone to hang out with and I feel like nobody cares about me. Maybe I'm in love with him still, I don't know. Who knows what's going on....maybe I think I'm the crazy one and thinking it was all in my head. At this point I have no idea what's going on anymore. I'm questioning my own sanity, I don't know anything about the abuse anymore but I do know that he raped me analy. Need friends in my life but all I have is friends online. Most of the time they're busy and have stuff to do, that's fine. I'm not going to stop them from doing what they have to do. At this point I'm so angry and I feel like I can't trust anyone anymore. Anytime someone says they care about me or love me as a friend I question it. And I feel like half the people on this Forum hates me as well. Talk about dramatic huh? I'm so paranoid at this point. Why am I even here? All I do is suffer. Not like I make anyone happy......I don't understand why I keep doing this to myself? What's wrong with me?? :( He said something to me last night that is making me question my sanity again.....
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    oh hun, I'm sorry to hear you feel this way.

    I can tell you that I don't hate you, and I can't understand why someone would.

    Firstly, I urge you to stay away from that man. He is obviously not good for you, and you only deserve to be treated kind!
    And maybe you need a different kind of therapy? like DBT or CBT? Perhaps that would help you to get some healthy coping mechanisms with all of these things?

    Please stay safe hun. *hugs*
  3. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    Im sorry you are struggling so much with all that's going on right now....

    Does your therapist know about you living situation?? Is there any places you could go to get help to move out or even get the ball rolling so the process can start?? Living with an abusive person can cause so much damage and I'm sure if the situation is desperate steps can be taken to try and help you move out. I'm not sure we're you are from or what it's like where you are maybe it's totally different and I'm so sorry if my words are rubbish that's why i don't reply much because I'm afraid what I say will be rubbish.

    I know it seems things don't change at all or get any better but it takes time and lots of it also I think if your still living in that situation it would be so hard to move forward.

    Keep at it with your therapist even if it's hard and feels pointless or you feel your repeating yourself. I know its not easy but I wish you all the best.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I can personally tell you I don't hate you and I agree that you might have become a bit paranoid considering all that's going on in your life. I get like that too sometimes, feel like a loser,fool and that everyone secretly hates me. That I can understand. Are you seeing any type of therapist? Getting help from a doctor? I am sorry for what your ex put you through, no one should go through that. If you ever need to talk my PM box is always open. Remember you are unique and here for a reason. Find that reason :) ((hugs))
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