I've been in a deeply depressed state for many years now. I've never had a girlfriend, but recently I met someone and we really connected. I couldn't believe it. Someone was actually attracted to me, and I was attracted to them. Things felt like they were going so well. But I screwed it all up. My insecurities ruined everything. Something good finally entered my life, and I fucked it up. I'm still reeling over it. It was like all of those years of misery were finally going to be worth it. But I ruined it. I don't think that I'll ever get the chance again. My depression got even worse after that point. I felt like I was reaching rock bottom, and I finally got the nerve to talk to someone close to me about how I feel. I pretty much laid it down on the table. I talked about my depression, suicidal feelings, everything. They acted concerned at first, promised to help me, etc. I finally felt relief. Unfortunately, it didn't last. Nothing ever came of it. It's like the conversation never happened. I'm stuck. I can't help myself. I reached out for help and got nothing. There is no one else to reach out to. I don't even know if I really even want help anymore.