Nothing is Beautiful

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by BioHomocide, Mar 29, 2009.

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  1. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Words bleed from lips
    Leaving drops of lies on the ground
    Like bullets, flowers shoot through cracks
    Swallowing lies and turning an ugly color

    Why do you insist on making this world hideous?
    Even if you say you're not at fault the words just continue to bleed.
    Falling like bombs destroying the world around you.
    You want to be God? Create a false paradise.
    You want to be the Devil? Corrupt truth.
    Evil and good have become intertwined.
    Sharing the same life.

    Praying is begging.
    Faith is charity.
    Use that lying mouth and ask for more when you've given nothing in return.
    Stop seeking like you deserve.
    Stop acting like you are entitled.

    Until the last breath
    Blind to all errors
    Cut the filth from you eyes.
    Nothing is beautiful.​
  2. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I love the imagery.

    But it sounds halted if you read it aloud. A few words could be shifted about. But the imagery is nice. Particularly "Use that lying mouth and ask for more when you've given nothing in return." and " words bleed from lips
    Leaving drops of lies"

    How bout " Leaving lies to drip" I don't know. The cadence is just halted.

    I didn't conclude the line because I don't like the part "on the ground" Sounds off when read aloud.

    But I like it. And the creepy new avatar. Looks cool. :)
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 29, 2009
  3. justafool

    justafool Well-Known Member

    I will love any poem that contains violence or even the threat of violence. Very, very nice.
  4. pither

    pither Well-Known Member

    The last stanza is my favorite-
    It completely made the poem.
    Like the icing on a cake.

    I thought it was brilliant, even if some words were repeated

  5. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    I just wrote this poem on the spur of the moment, only edited it once.
  6. pither

    pither Well-Known Member

    Yup :]

    Understandable. I know I write when I feel and grammar and editing means nothing at that point-

  7. L108935

    L108935 Well-Known Member

    WOW. Nice poem! =)
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    awesome poem :)
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