after abusing a friend the other day (http://www.suicideforum.com/showthread.php?t=50053) its got 100x worse, im not sure how thats possible but it has. he doesnt know it but im giving him some money tomorrow (it will make him happy) and then im killing myself. after everything i have done, i dont really have a choice anymore. my death will mean i can only bother people one last time then. im not quite sure why i felt the need to post this, its probably a cry for help i guess but nobody can help, i know i need to die now, i want to die, im quite happy in taking this path. i just wish everything could have been different.