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Nothing is going to change

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Bigman2232, Sep 19, 2011.

  1. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    No fucking amount or different medication is going to fix my mood. No talking to a person is going to change a thing. Nothing is going to change. I CAN'T just ignore how fucked up the world works. There is just something about me that won't let me. I can't just accept that that's the way it works. Why?

    Seeing the doctor just makes me feel like an idiot because the whole time all I get is the feeling that "that's life, fucking suck it up you wussy".

    How can I get it through their heads that I just don't want to try anymore? I don't want to try to be fixed because I'm just tired with it all.

    Besides nothing I do works out. I'm never good enough.

    I miss having friends. :sigh::sad:

    I'm just so tired of having how big a loser I am thrown in my face, over and over
  2. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni


    I'm sorry that you're feeling so hopeless.. I wish i had some words of wisdom but the truth is I feel the same way about myself. I truly feel that no amount of medication or counselling would change anything (or me) for the better.. sure I've had good days/weeks/months but things always come back.. at the end of the day nothing changes. I am me and i can't get away from me!

    Although from your post I can't work out whether when you say that nothing changes, do you mean that nothing about you can change, or whether you mean that nothing in the world changes?

    I hear what you're saying too about missing not having friends.. is a very lonely place to be and although it can really help to come here and have a safe place online to talk.. and even make friends here.. it's not quite the same as friends 'in real life' if you know what i mean.

    Thinking of you
  3. suicide43

    suicide43 New Member

    I feel you bigman - doctors seem to be in such a hurry these days - whatever happened to personal service. ok, get back to me.
  4. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    Both. I'm not going to change as much as I would like to so I can fit in. I'm just volatile. Something in me won't just let me ignore the things that I really can't change alone. Stupidity and unfairness actually bother me and those seem to be the main building block of human society. It doesn't matter how hard I try I'm just not good enough.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You do not have to live up to someone elses expectation of you hun You just have to live up to your own okay. depression makes one see all the negative bs in the world and nothing else There is goodness in this world but it is hard to see when you are fighting such a hard battle inside. You can only do your best and if that is not good enough for the rest of them well you know what you can tell them to do. Be happy with you hun just be you and don't be something someone else wants you to be hugs