Everytime I get a grade or an evaluation I know it's poor. My guts burn and turn until I prove to myself my reaction was right. I know I didn't get a perfect score. I know that. So why bother? Why do I keep getting this feeling? What is wrong with feeling good about working as hard as you can and getting what you deserve? B or A-?! That's it! My stomach hurts so much. I'm drunk now because I was sure I got an F, I was just an idiot and couldn't read the handwriting. Why can't I feel good about it? Fuck it, my stomach hurts and I have work to do. Fuck it, just kill me.