nothing is right- living is hell!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by the masked depressant, May 24, 2011.

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  1. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member

    absolute hell.

    i can't get anything right, no one ever listens to my suggestions and ideas... i've got a voice you know, or at least i thought i did have!

    moved in to the new house, absolutely devistating... i don't know how i can live here seriously

    everything around me is falling apart- i'm not sure who i am anymore!

    i've been sick with anxiety for no apparent reason at all, but i think a lot of that has to do with the fact i'm so down that for the last few days i couldn't even bring myself to do nothing more than just put some music on and cry..

    yesterday got so bad, must have been my lowest in days (and i'm still not sure what caused that outburst!)

    depression obviously wants to consume me, and to be perfictly honest- i'm fed up with it

    oh yeah, and all the paronoya about people watching me.. and all it really is is someone talking to someone else about an entirely diffrent matter- it's a joke!. just last week someone called the place i was at about a meeting, and for ages afterwards i was convinced that it was to do with me- even though i just heard myself that it had nothing to do with me at all- what's up with that?

    i'm going crazy here- anyone there?.

    am i alone?

    someone please... just tell me it's okay or something
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hiya, Daniel. I don't think you're going crazy. Depression draws us into thinking very negatively. It tends to filter out all the possible reasons for things except the negative ones...It discounts anything good that we have said or done.

    Can you tell me anything - anything at all - that has been good or even ok over the last couple of days? How about if you tell me what music you listened the last few days and what made you choose it over something else. (Just a topic to reground you a bit.)
  3. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member


    i'm trying to think of good things.. i'm really trying

    i have listened to a lot of music over the last few days, lady gaga, a bit of reggae and also adel. i wanted to try and try some lighter music for once, to see how i'd react to it

    and i did enjoy gaga.. i find her music to be a nice break from quiet riot (who i'm really in to at the moment)

    only other thing that's good i can think about is the fact i got the dvd called the kings speech. it's meant to be really good

    i am slightly less crazy today, but the thoughts are still there- i've been drawing up a plan
  4. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Katy Perry, Firework

    Hope today has been a better day.
  5. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member

    i guess today's been a bit better, even if not much

    just doing thinking again..
  6. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I'm glad you found some music to distract you. :) I've seen Lady Gaga on tv twice in the last 24 hours...guess she's really popular these days.

    I've heard good things about The King's Speech. I look forward to hearing what you think about it.

    It's good that you're "slightly less crazy" today. I hope you can settle and even scrunch up and throw away any "plans".

    Let me know about the movie when you've seen it.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi,I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today :hug: You're not crazy. I know how bad anxiety can get, my psych said I have one of the worst cases of anxiety he has ever seen. I'm not prepared to give up though, even though it is very tempting, keep fighting, you are definitely not alone..
  8. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member

    sometimes, too tempting

    thanks for your words of support
  9. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member

    i will let you know for sure.

    i'm looking forward to watching it
  10. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear things are bad.whats wrong with your house? Would you like to say so I can offer advice? Pm if you so wish.happy music is good.i like watching old tv movies at night.turn my brain off.i think its good not to think sometimes.
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